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.AIRS. SARAH TAP PAX. 



MEMOIR 



MRS. SARAH TAPPAN: 



TAKEN IN PART 



From the Home Missionary Magazine, of November, 1828, 



AND PRINTED TOtt 



DISTRIBUTION AMONG HER DESCENDANTS. 



• Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord."— Rev. xiv^, 13. 



NEW-YORK-WEST & TROW, PRINTERS. 

MDCCCXXXIT. 

L 



47802 






^^v-* 







PREFACE. 



Some time after the decease of Mrs. Tappan, one of 
her children was applied to by the editor of the ^*'Home 
Missionary and American Pastor's Journal," for some ac- 
count of her life, sickness and death, to be published in 
that magazine. From materials chiefly furnished by her 
grand daughter, E. P., who, for many years, had devotedly 
administered to the comfort of her grand parents, a memoir 
was compiled, which was printed in the above periodical 
for November, 1828. 

The near relatives were each supplied with a copy, and 
a few copies were distributed among more distant rela- 
tives. When the last copy was solicited, by a nephew of 
the deceased, the thought occurred that it might be grati- 
fying to all the grand children, and other relatives, to be 
possessed of a memoir of one whom all, who had been per- 
sonally acquainted with her, had so highly venerated. It 
was thought too that all the descendants, and other branches 
of the family, who had never been personally acquainted 
with the deceased, would prize a memorial of one whose 
life had been so exemplary, and who had spent much 
praying breath for her children's children, and for all who 
were allied to them. 



^ PREFACE. 

In making arrangements for a re-publication of the me- 
moir, the compiler was advised that it might be profitably 
extended, by including some particulars that had been 
omitted in the brief account published in the *^ Home Mis- 
sionary," and by the insertion of several letters written by 
Mrs. Tappan, at various periods, to her children. Seve- 
ral of these letters are therefore printed entire, and extracts 
are made from others. Thus the original memoir has 
swelled into a little book. 

To make the work additionally valuable, lithographic 
portraits, both of Mrs. Tappan and her husband, are pre- 
fixed. They have been taken from portraits painted by 
Gilbert Stuart, in the year 1814. 

As the memoir is printed for private distribution among 
the descendants, and family connections, many circum- 
stances are related with a minuteness, and explicitness, 
that would have been avoided if the work had been pub- 
lished for general perusal. It is thought that it is due 
to the memory of the departed to give her honest senti- 
ments, in her own language, relating to erroneous opinions 
imbibed by any members of her family. She loved her 
children, and her grand children, with endeared affection ; 
she took a deep interest in their temporal welfare ; but, 
above all things, she loved their souls. It was for this 
that she was so greatly concerned about their eternal 
welfare. Her sense of duty impelled her to great 
fidelity as she had opportunity to converse, or corres- 
pond, with her children and grand children. And as 
death approached, she, in the fear of God, raised her 
warning voice lest some for whom she felt responsible 
should appear on the left hand of their Almighty Savior 



PREFACE. 



in the great day when he will come to judge the world in 
righteousness. 

Mrs. Tappan's religious sentiments were evangelical. 
Her experience satisfied her that the statements she found 
in the Bible of the total depravity of human nature, the 
necessity of regeneration, the deity and atonement of Jesus 
Christ, and kindred doctrines, were true, and to be be- 
lieved in the heart as essential to salvation. During* the 
last years of her life her mind was perpetually dwelling 
upon the fact that some of her children had embraced 
Unitarian and Infidel sentiments. It struck her with hor- 
ror that they should deny the Lord that had bought them ; 
it was her unceasing prayer that the scales might fall from 
their eyes ; and that they might be willing to praise the 
Triune God, whom she had delighted to worship for more 
than half a century. 

The writer of this, adores the God and Savior of his 
sainted mother, that her prayers were heard and answered 
on his behalf; and though, owing to the pride of his heart, 
he deprived himself, during her life, of sweet communion 
with her in religious fellowship, he looks forward with 
hope, that maketh not ashamed, to the period when he 
may be permitted to bow before the throne of the Lamb, 
and exclaim with her, " My Lord and my God." And it 
is his prayer that every child, and grand child, of the de- 
ceased, may be brought to a knowledge of the truth, and 
that the truth may make them free. 

The subject of this memoir was emphatically a, pious 

woman. Religion was with her the absorbing subject. 

Like Enoch, it may be truly said of her, she ^^ walked with 

God." She prayed much. She did not content herself 

1* 



PREFACE. 



with two or three stated daily seasons of secret prayer, but 
seized every occasion of leisure to retire and commune 
with God her Savior. She often arose in the night to 
pour out the feelings of her heart at the throne of grace. 
It was her delight also to be engaged in social prayer, and 
to meet God in the assembly of his saints. She rejoiced 
in the Lord's day, and very strictly and conscientiously 
did she observe a seventh part of the whole time, in re- 
membering the Sabbath day to keep it holy. Her faith 
was strong. It may be truly said of her, she lived by faith. 
But she was not selfish in her prayers, and religious 
duties, any more than in her social intercourse. Her re- 
ligion partook of the benevolence of its divine Founder. 
She prayed much, it is true, for her children and grand 
children, but she prayed also fervently for the interests of 
the Redeemer's kingdom, for perishing souls around her, 
and for the conversion of the world. She took a deep in- 
terest in revivals of religion, and in religious intelligence 
from all parts of the world. She saw in the providential 
events that were constantly transpiring, the accomplish- 
ment of prophecy ; and her faith, always strong and vigor- 
ous, received new impulse from what she saw of God's 
mighty movements in the moral world. According to her 
ability and opportunity, she aimed to be faithful in con- 
versing with sinners, in warning them to flee from the 
wrath to come, in beseeching them, for Christ's sake, to 
be reconciled to God. Like Baxter she considered that 
every sinner who came near her was sent that she might 
put forth some effort for his salvation. And she prayer- 
fully considered, with respect to such opportunities, ^^Lord, 
what wilt thou have me to do?" 



PREFACE. 



Her manners were gentle and retiring. Still, she has 
been known to evince great moral courage and self-pos- 
session in exigencies of danger and alarm. She was a 
woman of great sweetness of disposition. In her temper 
she was forbearing and patient. She had singular deli- 
cacy in her feelings and actions ; was a peace-maker in the 
whole circle of her acquaintance ; and was ever kind and 
charitable to the poor, the sick, and the afflicted. Her 
love of domestic life, and of retirement, were strong. She 
distrusted her fitness and ability to act beyond the family 
circle, and over those who were not providentially brought 
under her special notice. She was sufficiently indulgent 
towards her children, but still had requisite firmness in 
her family government. 

In her domestic relations she was a most affectionate 
wife and mother, an example of industry, economy, and 
diligence. It might, with peculiar propriety, have been 
said by her, as it was said by the apostle Paul, " these 
hands have ministered unto my necessities, and to them 
that were with me;'^ and she was accustomed, as well from 
the necessity of the case, as from conscientious adherence 
to the command of the Savior, to ^'gather up the frag- 
ments that remain, that nothing he lost J ^ With very little 
aid from domestics she reared ten children, and to the 
midnight hour labored for a long period of years to supply 
their necessities. 

Owing to the frugal and simple mode of living which 
her circumstances and inclination induced her to adopt, 
and the blessing of God upon it, her habitation was the 
abode of health. She lost only one child in its infancy, 
lived to see all the rest attain to adult age, and all outlived 



8 PREFACE. 

her with the exception of one. Dr. H., in alluding to her 
skill as a maternal physician, was accustomed to say, if 
there were ten such mothers in the village he should be 
without practice. 

Her contentment with the allotments of providence 
was unwavering. For herself, and for those near and dear 
to her, she had little concern about temporal prosperity, 
being desirous, above all things, that they should lay up 
treasure in heaven, in preference to acquiring this world's 
goods. Her belief in a special and overruling Providence 
was habitual. Her experience corroborated the state- 
ments of Scripture on this subject, and she believed this 
great truth with her whole heart. 

Thi^ tribute to the memory of a beloved mother comes 
from one who made large draughts upon her health, her 
patience, her industry, her maternal solicitude, and her 
prayers. It will meet a response in the hearts of her chil- 
dren, grand children, and all who intimately knew her. 
Of her, whose character is here delineated, it might have 
been emphatically and truly said, while living, " She open- 
eth her mouth with wisdom ; and in her tongue is the law of 
kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household^ and 
eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and 
call her blessed: her husband also, and he praiseth her. 
Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain ; but a woman that 
fear eth the Lord, she shall be praised.'^ Prov. xxxi, 26—31. 
And, now she is dead, in view of her useful life, and happy 
death, who will not exclaim, ^' Blessed are the dead who die 
in the Lord from henceforth : Yea, saith the Spirit, that 
they may rest from their labors ; and their works do follow 
them:' Rev. xiv, 13. L. T. 



MEMOIR, 



The truth of the following declaration of 
the holy Psalmistj has been verified in the 
lives and deaths of many saints. ^^ The mercy 
of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting 
upon them that fear him^ and his righteousness 
unto children's children^ to such as keep his cove- 
nant^ and to those that remember his command" 
ments to do them,'' Psalm ciii, 17, 18. Ex- 
perince confirms also the testimony of the 
wise king of Israel, ^^the righteous hath hope 
in his death." Prov. xiv, 32. 

It is thought that a striking illustration 
of the truth of these sayings, and of the 
mercy and goodness of God, is afforded in 
the life and death of her who is the sub- 
ject of this memoir. During a long life the 
light of her Christian example shone bright- 
ly ; and when death approached she w^as 
permitted and strengthened to say, with the 
apostle Paul, ^^ / have fought a good fight ^ 



10 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

/ have finished my course^ I have kept the 
faith: Henceforth there is laid up for me a 
croimi of righteousness^ which the Lord^ the 
7^ighteous Judge^ shall give me at that day : 
And not to me only, but unto all them also 
that love his appearing J^ 2 Tim. iii, 7, 8. 

It is to record the divine faithfulness ; to 
encourage her posterity, and family connec- 
tions, who are CJiristians, to fidelity ; to show 
the impenitent with what peace a Christian 
can die ; and to incite those for whom she 
so ardently prayed, to ^' work out their own 
salvation with fear and trembling/' that this 
sketch of an endeared and venerated friend is 
furnished. 

Mrs. Tappan w^as born in Boston, Mass., 
January 2d, 1748. She w^as the daughter of 
William Homes, Esq., goldsmith ; grand 
daughter of Captain Robert Homes, who 
married Dr. Benjamin Franklin's sister 
Mary ; and great grand daughter of Rev. 
William Homes, ^ a minister near London- 

* A manuscript copy of the Diary, and several sermons of this good 
man, are preserved, and are in the hands of the compiler of this memoir. 
Part were written, it appears by the dates, in Ireland, and part in this 
country. It would appear from them that the writer was a humble^ 
active, and prayerful Christian. 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 11 

derry, Ireland, who emigrated to this coun- 
try about the year 1700, and was settled at 
Martha's Vineyard, Mass. Her maternal 
ancestors were named Dawes, and were 
early settled in Boston. She was baptized 
in the^^ Old South Church," in that city, by 
the Rev. Dr. Sewall; and was brought up 
under his ministry. Her father was a 
justice of the peace, under a commission 
from the then British governor, but what 
was a higher honor in her estimation, both 
her parents were exemplary Christians ; and 
she often mentioned to her children instances 
of her father's careful observance of the 
Sabbath, which were evidently connected 
with the blessing of God. 

At one period of his life, his business 
called him to visit Charleston, S. C, in a 
vessel belonging to himself After he had 
completed his business in Charleston, and 
the vessel was ready to return, it was de- 
tained several days by contrary winds. On 
Sabbath morning the captain came to his 
lodgings, told him the wind was fair, and all 
the wind-bound vessels, that were in readi- 
ness, were getting under way. Mr. Homes 



12 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN* 

replied, ^^ You must not go to sea to-day ; it 
is the Sabbath; and I cannot permit my 
vessel to leave the port.'' The captain re- 
monstrated, but in vain. The next day the 
wind vras contrary, and it was not until 
Thursday that the vessel w^as able to leave 
the harbor, when they took a favorable 
breeze, and were soon wafted to their de- 
sired haven. 

On arriving at Boston, the captain was 
surprised to learn that not a single vessel, of 
those which had left him at Charleston, had 
arrived ; nor did any of them arrive until 
three weeks after. They had encountered 
a severe gale ; some of them were wrecked ; 
and several were blown off to the West 
Indies ! 

Mr. Homes returned by land, and arriving 
on Saturday night at a village between 
twenty and thirty miles from Boston, deter- 
mined to pass the Lord's day there. Before 
he left the place several persons inquired 
who the stranger was, and some of them ex- 
pressed great surprise that he should have 
been willing to lay by a day, so near home, 
when he had been so long absent from his 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPFAN. 13 

family. He often observed, in after life, that 
if he had intended to promote his worldly 
interests only, he could not have done it 
more effectually, as he had, afterwards, ^^ al- 
most the whole town for his customers. '^ 

Through her whole life the deep impres- 
sion received from her parents, of her obli- 
gation strictly to observe the Sabbath, were 
not effaced. By her example, and precept, 
she inculcated upon her children the value 
of this sacred day, and that in remembering 
to keep it holy there was great reward. 

Mr. Homes had a numerous family of 
children, nearly all of whom died in infancy ; 
and Sarah was herself the subject of nume- 
rous sicknesses and exposures, from which 
she ever regarded her deliverances as special 
interpositions of Divine Providence. At one 
time she fell from a chamber window on to 
the pavement, and was taken up senseless. 

These events, the counsels of her parents, 
and the instructions of her minister, at times 
took hold of her feelings, even in her earliest 
years, so that she would attempt to pray with 
great earnestness; but her seriousness was 
like the morning cloud and the early dew. 
2 



14 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

She passed her youth in giddy mirth and 
vanity. Though God, by his providence, fre- 
quently arrested her attention, and brought 
her under convictions of sin, her volatility 
drove them from her mind, while her venture- 
some spirit often endangered her life. She 
once remarked, in allusion to the dangers of 
her childhood and youth, ^^ The recollection 
of some of my hair-breadth escapes almost 
makes me shudder at the present time.'' She 
regretted that she had not noted down all 
the remarkable providential escapes she had 
in early life, as they occurred, that she might 
have been more grateful to her divine Pre- 
server in the recollection of them. 

The foregoing particulars are principally 
taken from a manuscript, found among the 
papers of Mrs. Tappan, after her decease, 
which appears to have been written at an 
advanced age. It commences thus : — 

'^ Oh, who hath tasted of his clemency in greater mea- 
sure, or more of it, than I ? I have often thought these 
beautiful lines of Addison could be to none more applica- 
ble than to me : 

' When all thy mercies, my God,' &c. 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 15 

May my gratitude rise as high ; for surely none have been 
more signalized by dangers and preservations. Some of 
the most material I would record for the benefit of my 
children : — and I would earnestly recommend to them to 
begin, early in life, to minute down extraordinary provi- 
dences, for their own benefit and the glory of God. For 
want of this method, many events are forgotten and lost ; 
which I doubt not is the case with me; and many are 
but imperfectly recollected. 

'^ I shall begin with what took place in my earliest 
childhood, and for a knowledge of which I am indebted to 
my parents. They had sixteen children, ten of whom died 
in infancy. The five that survived were the two eldest, 
the two youngest, and myself, who was preserved in the 
midst of them that died, as a monument of God's sparing 
mercy. When I was four years old I fell from a chamber 
window, had my chin laid open, and two of my teeth beat 
out. I lay for two hours, to all appearance past recovery. 
Soon after, I was sick with a fever that raged for many days, 
so that for three weeks I was thought to be on the borders 
of the grave. I had but just recovered, when being ex- 
posed to the small-pox, I was inoculated, and had it very 
severely. It was thought that if I survived I should en- 
tirely lose the sight of one eye, 

** But from all these distresses I was wonderfully de- 
livered, and my health in a great measure restored. When 
I was seven years old it pleased God to visit my father's 
family with the throat distemper. In one fortnight two of 
the children were carried to the grave. While they were 
sick my grandmother requested that I might be sent to 
live with her. She lived ^bout half a mile distant, in a 



16 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

healthy situation, but my parents thought it would be run- 
ning away from Providence, and refused to let me go. / 
was the only child in the family that escaped the disorder. 
At this time there was the greatest shock of an earthquake 
I ever knew. The awfulness of the scene I well recollect, 
and the solemn appearance of all faces. I was for some 
time after deeply impressed. 

^* I was blessed with pious parents, who endeavored to 
impress my mind with a sense of my peculiar obligations 
to devote myself to Him who had thus wonderfully pre- 
served me. This, at times, took hold on me, so that I 
would pray night and morning for some time, but alas! 
my goodness was like the morning cloud and early dew. 
I passed my youth in giddy mirth and vanity, but God, by 
his providences, frequently arrested my attention, and 
brought me under convictions. I was in ' dangers oft.' 
Sometimes, in a playful mood, I would venture further 
than my companions durst, and thus tempt Providence, 
and endanger my own life. 

'^ The recollection of some of my hair-breadth escapes 
almost makes me shudder. Thrice was I thrown from a 
horse, and conveyed, as by an invisible hand, to the only 
spot of safety around where I fell ; within two inches of 
my head, in one instance, lay a large stone. Three times 
was I thrown from a chaise ; at one time the person who 
was with me was greatly injured, while I remained unhurt. 
At another time, by the wheel of the chaise running swift- 
ly over a log, which lay concealed under high grass, I was 
thrown out to a great distance, but received no injury. At 
another time I was run away with by a frightened horse, 
and overset with the boot of the chaise up, in which my 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 17 

foot was entangled, and I was drawn some steps under the 
body of the chaise, but not much hurt. 

''I have been in danger of being drowned several 
times. Once my preservation affected me sensibly. The 
moon shone very bright, and I was admiring it in the 
water, leaning over the railing upon deck, till late in the 
evening, on board a vessel in which I was sailing to Mar- 
tha's Vineyard. The next day a sailor, leaning against 
the same part, it gave way, and he fell overboard. He 
was saved, but had it been me, in the night, I must have 
been drowned. Soon after, I was crossing the Sound ; it 
was very pleasant when we set off, but a heavy fog soon 
came on, and a dead calm. The boatmen said they knew 
not where to row, they were as likely to be going out to 
sea as any way, and they were in imminent danger of 
being run down by some vessel. They stopped every five 
minutes to listen. At length we heard the beach roar, to 
our great joy. They rowed, and lay still, alternately, the 
better to find the direction, until a kind Providence again 
brought us into sunshine ; and we discovered land, but at 
a great distance from the point for which w^e sat out. This 
mercy made a still deeper impression upon my mind, and 
I was led to reflect upon the power and goodness of God 
to me through my past life. 

'^ At Falmouth I was impressed by a sermon on the 
tvorth of the soul, and became acquainted with one young 
person who was under concern for her soul. My convic- 
tions increased, and from this period I date my first seri- 
ous intentions of giving myself up to God, by a solemn 
covenant engagement to be his, which I did in the twenty^ 

first year of my age ; and God has, I trust, graciously kept 

2* 



18 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

that which I have committed to him, notwithstanding all my 
declensions and provocations, which have been many and 
grievous. He is the Lord God, merciful and gracious, slow 
to anger, not willing that any should perish. But if I 
should go on to recount all his mercies to me and mine, 
time would fail me. They are new every morning, fresh 
every evening ; and although my gratitude falls far short, 
yet I bless God for a thankful heart. He has often en- 
abled me to rejoice in that he has seen fit to correct me, 
and to adore him, that his strokes have been so few, so 
light. Oh ! if I had an angel's tongue, and could be heard 
from pole to pole, I would proclaim to listening worlds, his 
goodness to my soul !" 

In the year 1770^ she was married^ by the 
Rev. Dr. Cooper ^ of Boston, to Mr. Benjamin 

Tappan."^ of Northampton, Mass., goldsmith^ 
with whom she lived happily fifty-nine years, 
and reared ten children, nine of whom sur- 
vived her. 

In 1818, she wrote as follows : — 

" I am now seventy years of age, and still have to record 
God's great and signal mercies to me and mine. Surely 
there is no one lives who has received such singular marks 
of Divine clemency as myself, as to outward circumstances; 
but alas ! when I compare God's mercy with the fruits it 

* He was the eldest son of Rev. Benjamin Tappan, of Manchester, 
Essex County, Mass., and at an early age was put apprentice to the 
father of her with whom he was afterwards united in marriage. Thus 
they lived under the same roof upwards of sixty-five years. 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 19 

has produced, what cause have I to mourn over my bar- 
renness and unfruitfiilness. Oh ! it is well I have a God 
to deal with, and not man. Jesus is my advocate on 
high. His atonement is my security that sin shall not pre- 
vail over me, but that I shall finally triumph over it. Glo- 
rious High Priest ! Oh 1 that all my children, my dear 
children, could estimate Thee as thou hast enabled me to 
do. Thou art all my hope, my trust, my righteousness 
and strength. Oh, that thou wert theirs. Then they 
would have found the pearl of great price ; and yet they 
seek after righteousness — at least, some of theni. Oh, 
that thou wouldst lead them, and guide them, and bring 
them all to the knowledge of the truth, as it is revealed in 
thy Word. Help me to leave them with thee, and while I 
plead [with thee for them, bow submissive to thy Divine 
will. I know thou art holy and just in all thy ways ; 
and it becomes me to adore thee for what thou hast done 
for me and mine." 

Several months appear to have elapsed 
before she resumed writmg. Then, on the 
same paper, she added : — 

^^May their children rise up and call them blessed. 
May they, by their ardent piety, encourage the hearts and 
strengthen the hands of their dear parents, and assist them 
in their progress through the narrow path that leads to 
heaven. And may God, of his infinite mercy, grant that 
free, unmerited grace may gloriously triumph over error 
and sin, and that all my posterity may at last unite in 
ascribing glory to God the Father, glory to God the Son, 



20 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

glory to God the Holy Ghost, glory to Three in One — 
Amen ! This doctrine I was never particularly taught by my 
parents, although they were believers in it. They taught 
me the Assembly's Catechism; but I have no remem- 
brance that it was ever explained to me. I well remember, 
that when I first felt the influence of the doctrines of the 
Bible, the Assembly's Catechism opened upon my mind 
with such delight and power, that I was surprised I had 
known it so long, and never understood it. I was con- 
vinced it was the religion of the Bible, and I have never 
doubted it for a moment since ; but rather my experience, 
for more than fifty years, has confirmed it. I have found 
it my guide and my comfort through life; and expect, 
through the mercy of God my Savior, it will be my sup- 
port, when passing the valley and shadow of death. I have 
no other dependence. I desire no other. None but 
Christ ! none but Christ ! He is my Alpha and Omega — 
the chief among ten thousand, and altogether lovely. I 
trust I can say with Peter, ' Lord ! thou knowest all things, 
thou knowest that I love thee.' And can I hope that thou 
hast set thy love on such a worthless worm as I am ? Yes, 
if I love, it is because thou first lovedst me. Thou didst 
pass by when I was all over defiled by sin, helpless, and 
didst say unto me, live ; and the time was a time of love. 
Infinite mercy took pity on me, or I had never sought thy 
face. Thy boundless compassion has 'been extended 
towards me, even to old age, through a long life of ingra- 
titude and backsliding. It has raised me when fallen ; 
when wandering it has recalled me ; and if I am saved at 
last, to the triune God be all the glory — Amen !" 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 31 

At another period she wrote : 

" Since I last wrote, God has seen fit to remove my 
youngest child* by a sudden stroke, and under very trying 
circumstances ; but blessed be his holy name he has af- 
forded me that support which the world can neither give 
nor deprive me of She is, I trust, uniting with all those 
who love the Lord Jesus as their God and Savior, and are 
around the throne, ascribing glory, honor, and power to 
the triune God, for ever and ever^ — Amen and Amen ! 

After several other interesting passages, 
written at different times, all breathing the 
same spirit, the manuscript closes, in 1822, 
as follows : — 

'^ God is lengthening out my life, and that of my dear 
husband, to our 75th year. Our bodily health is comforta- 
ble, and our minds not greatly impaired. Our children, 
too, all enjoying health and prosperity, with their nume- 
rous offspring. Some of them, I trust, have chosen the 
good part, which will abide for ever. And, oh ! may God, 
in his great mercy, grant that we may all arrive in heaven, 
at last, a family without one member missing — all re- 
deemed by the precious blood of Christ Jesus. Amen.'' 



* Mrs. Elizabeth Phoenix, wife of Alexander PhoeniXj Esq., who died 
30th May, 1819, aged twenty-eight years and seven months. With the 
exception of a son, who died the day of its birth, she was the youngest 
child. She was greatly beloved by her parents, and died at their house, 
while on a visit, having retired to rest without any apprehensions of im- 
mediate deathj andbeing found dead in her bed next morning. She left 
one child. 



22 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

She was attacked by the distressmg dis- 
order, which speedily terminated her life, on 
Tuesday morning, at 9 o'clock, March 21st, 
1826. For a considerable time she had been 
subject to a disordered state of bowels, and 
occasionally to cholic, so that it had been 
necessary to take occasionally mild medi- 
cines. On Thursday night, April 16th, she 
was seized with the cholic, but being better 
the next day, she mentioned the fact only to 
the young woman in the family. The Sab- 
bath following she walked to church and 
back, but in the afternoon, not feeling well, 
she remained at home. Just before this at- 
tack she considered her health as perfect as 
usual, except that she had suffered rather 
more than ordinary, from the above causes, 
for several days past. She was awake much 
of Monday night, and employed those wake- 
ful hours in reviewing her past life, her child- 
hood and youth, and particularly her married 
life. She regretted that the cares of the 
world had occupied so large a share of her 
attention, and thought, that, could she live 
her life over again, she should be more faith- 
ful to the souls of her children. She wished 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 23 

to exhort her children to bring up theirs for 
God. But notwithstanding her repeated 
backslidings, she could trust that she was a 
child of Godj and that, although she had been 
unfaithful to the best and kindest of Masters, 
she should be saved for the sake of the 
atoning blood and perfect righteousness of 
her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. She re- 
flected upon the devotedness of Paul, and 
wondered why all Christians were not con- 
strained, as he was, by the love of Christ. 
When attacked on Tuesday morning, she 
said — ^^ This is my last sickness — I prepared 
for it last night." And from this time until 
her death she retained a strong impression 
that she should never recover. Afterwards 
she remarked to her eldest daughter, Mrs. S., 
that she had spent just such a night as she 
should wish her last to be, before entering 
eternity. She said — ^'I do not know as I 
have one doubt that heaven is my home, but 
I wish to see all my children there." She 
longed to depart and be with Christ, although 
she submitted entirely to the will of God. 

During Tuesday she was in much distress 
and pain at intervals, and it gradually in- 



24 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

creased in severity until late at nighty when 
it abated considerably. She passed a tole- 
rably comfortable night, without much pain^ 
but it increased Wednesday morning, and 
continued through the day, but was not se- 
vere. She could speak but little during these 
two days. She could, at times, hardly breathe 
without groaning, but was extremely anxious 
not to indulge an impatient or murmuring 
spirit. Notwithstanding her severe pain, she 
would frequently exclaim — ^' O, help me to 
praise God for his goodness ! God is good — 
superlatively good." She was verydesirous 
to obtain the prayers of the church, and sent 
a note to be read at the Wednesday evening 
lecture. In conversation with the junior pas- 
tor. Rev. Mr. Tucker, she said — ^^ I am una- 
ble to say much ; my mind wanders, but my 
hope is firmly fixed on the righteousness of 
Christ. Do pray for me. Do not pray for 
my life — I do not desire that — pray that I 
may have patience — that I may honor God 
in my death, and that he would lift upon me 
the light of his countenance, and be my stay 
and support.'' Rev. Mr. Williams, the aged 
senior pastor, called, to see and pray with 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. ' 25 

her several times. But at one time she was 
asleep^ and at others unable to converse. 

On Thursday, she said she had slept con- 
siderably through the night, vras disturbed 
by frightful dreams, but felt more strength 
than yesterday. ^^ Doctor," said she, ad- 
dressing her physician, Dr. Mather, who, 
during her last sickness, as well as on previ- 
ous occasions, had well entitled himself to her 
confidence, and the gratitude of the family, 
" what do you think of my case ? you have 
an opinion — what is your opinion V^ Dr. M. 
replied, ^^ I do not find that you are as much 
relieved this morning, as I had hoped, from 
the operation of the medicine.'' She then 
said — '^ O, I have slept sweetly this morn- 
ing — I have had a sweet sleep ; the house 
has been kept still, and there has been no 
disturbance in the room. I shall soon sleep 
sweetly in the grave. Yes, I shall sleep 
sioeetly in the grave ! — I do not wish to 
live. To be sure, I have every comfort this 
world can afford — but what are they ? What 
are all the comforts of this world worth living 
for V^ When Mr. Tucker called in the even- 
3 



26 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

ing, she said— ^^ Mr. T., I trust that I gave up 
myself to God in sincerity and truth, when I 
was quite young, and it is now more than 
fifty years since I made a profession of reli- 
gion ; but I have been an ungrateful creature; 
I have nothing to reflect upon as a ground of 
justification in the sight of God. Christ is all 
my hope — all my dependence is upon his 
righteousness. O, what a mercy that God 
should determine from all eternity, to save 
such wretched sinners, and that I should be 
one. O what a gift !" Mr. T. replied— ^^ Yes ; 
the redeemed in heaven have but one song to 
sing, ^unto Him who hath loved us, and 
washed us from our sins in his own blood; 
to Him be glory and dominion forever!' '^ He 
then inquired if she could endure a short 
prayer. She immediately answered, ^' O, yes, 
I hope I shall always be able to endure 
prayer. Pray that God would lift up the 
light of his countenance upon me ; and O, 
pray thank him that he is a prayer-hearing, 
and a prayer-answering God. He heard and 
answered the prayers that were put up for 
me in the lecture-room last evening. While 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 27 

they were praying he granted me relief.'' 
When Mr. Tucker was leaving the room, sha 
sent her love to Mrs. T., and thanked him for 
his kind attention. 

On Friday morning it was found she had 
passed the night with more quiet sleep than 
the two preceding nights, and she had undis- 
turbed and refreshing sleep. She expressed 
herself as feeling perfectly well in body and 
mind. Still she thought herself near her end, 
and in the morning took leave of her husband 
and grand daughter, and said she wished to 
hear of nothing but heaven. Speaking to 
a person present, upon the importance of 
making a profession of religion, she said, 
" Far be it from me to urge any to take 
these solemn obligations upon them, unless 
they are willing to devote their whole lives 
to the service and glory of God — but think 
not that you can escape obligation by the 
neglect of this duty.'' Soon after she clasped 
her hands, and said with sweet expression— 

" Why was I made to hear thy voice, 
And enter while there's room? 
When thousands make a wretched choice, 
And rather starve than come. 



28 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 



^Twas the same love that spread the feast 

That sweetly forced me in, 
Else / had still refused to taste, 

And perished in my sin." 



Afterwards when E. P. was alone with 
her, she said, ^' E., am I dying? O! how 
easy ! 

^ Tell me, my soul, can this be death?' " 

She now spent an hour or more in con- 
versation. She was bright, and opened her 
mind fully and freely on many subjects upon 
which she and her grand daughter had been 
accustomed to converse, when by themselves. 
She spoke of the privilege of Christian in- 
tercourse, and the enjoyment they had had 
in each other's society the past winter, as 
E. P. was in the habit of sitting up with her 
an hour or two after the rest of the family 
had retired. By degrees the conversation 
became more solemn and interesting. As she 
stood upon the brink of the eternal world she 
gave her parting counsel to this grand daugh- 
ter. ^^ My advice to you, E." she said, ^^ is 



MEMOIR OP MRS. TAPPAN. 29 

this. Press forward — persevere — regard 
not reproaches — only follow what appears 
to be the path of duty. ^ ^ ^ ^ 
Oj what shall I say that I have not 
said? O ! can I say it? Can I say it? Can 
I SAY IT ? O, tell him^ that I fear — I fear- 
greatly — that I shall see him at Christ's left 
hand ! O ! what a thought ! I would not con- 
ceal the truth, but 1 would not pronounce 

anathemas against those who may meet me 
at the left hand.'' After a pause she said 
^^ I can pray for him." She then clasped her 
hands, and with her eyes closed, seemed 
earnestly wrestling in prayer. She then 
opened her eyes and said, ^' Your mother 
too, and her brothers; O, how I feel for 
them — my children! my children! what 
shall I say? What hope can I have for 
them? O! Christ — Christ is all the founda- 
tion of the Christian's hope, and what will 
become of those that reject Him?" — After a 
long pause she exclaimed, ^' O ! yes — I can 
pray for them— I can hope that they will yet 
see the error of their way — I have strong 

* Alluding to one who, she believed, had imbibed fatal errors in 
religion. 

3* 



30 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

hope that they will.'' The solemnity of her 
manner, and the expression of her counte- 
nance, were indescribable. 

In the afternoon, E. P. read, at her re- 
quest, several of her favorite hymns. She 
seemed to enjoy, very muchj the last that 
was read — 



" Begone, unbelief! 

My Savior is near ; 

And for my relief 

Will surely appear : 
By prayer let me wrestle, 

And he will perform ; 
With Christ in the vessel, 

I smile at the storm. 



Determin'd to save, 
He watch'd o'er my path, 
When Satan's blind slave, 
I sported with death ; 

And can he have taught me 
To trust in his name, 

And thus far have brought rae 
To put me to shame ? 

Why should I complain 

Of want or distress. 

Temptation or pain ? 

He told me no less : 
The heirs of salvation, 

I know from his word. 
Through much tribulation, 

Must follow their Lord. 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 31 

Though dark be my way, 

Since he is my guide, 

'Tis mine to obey, 

'Tis his to provide ; 
His way was much rougher, 

And darker than mine; 
Did Jesus thus suffer. 

And shall I repine ? 



His love, in time past. 
Forbids me to think 
He^ll leave me at last 
In trouble to sink : 

Though painful at present, 
'Twill cease before long, 

And then, O, how pleasant 
The conqueror's song !" 



Mary W. came into the room. As she 
stood by the bed, Mrs. T. said something 
upon the value of religion, and its loveliness 
in youth, and repeated part of Dr. Watts^ 
hymn — 

'^ The flower when offered in the bud," &c» 
Afterwards she repeated— 

" O ! glorious hour ! O ! blest abode ! 
I shall be near and like my God ; 
And flesh and sin no more control 
The sacred pleasures of the soul." 



32 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

The doctor continued with her through 
the whole of this day. She had neither pain 
nor restlessness during the day. She sat up 
while her bed was made, and expressed her- 
self much refreshed on returning to it. On 
the whole there appeared a more favorable 
aspect to all the symptoms than at any time 
previous. Her sleep however, which in the 
afternoon appeared natural and refreshing, 
seemed this evening too profound, and the 
respiration deeper and slower than natural. 

In the evening E. P. took the Bible to 
read for family prayers, and selected the 103d 
Psalm. Just as she was about to read, her 
grandmother began, ^^ Bless the Lord, O my 
soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy 
name." This was the more remarkable as 
she was unconscious of the passage selected. 
Thursday evening, while the physicians were 
in the room, she remarked, ^^ O ! God is 
good ! God is good in raising up physicians, 
and giving them skill to adapt the best means 
to the human frame ! but all their skill is un- 
availing without the blessing of God.'* 

At another time she said, ^^ I hope that I 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 33 

shall be able, when I feel a little rested, to 
say something to all the family. O ! I want 
to honor God and do something for him while 
I live.'' — Friday afternoon she exclaimed, 
^^ O ! tell all the loorld to trust in nothing but 
the righteousness of Christ Jesus. He is the 
Alpha and Omega — the beginning and the 
ending. O, he died to redeem a lost world ! 
There is no redemption in any other way ! 
O, what a mercy that I am going to be free 
from sin. Dear Savior ! lovely Jesus ! come 
quickly ! help me — help me to clap my wings 
and depart. O, if the world knew how pre- 
cious Jesus was, they would not need such 
urging to come to him." 

Saturday morning the doctor found that 
her sleep had become more and more pro- 
found. Mrs. S. went to her bed and awaked 
her with considerable difficulty. She exert- 
ed herself to speak and said, ^^ It is all in 
vain ; the last trump will wake me, and no- 
thing else." However, at 7 o'clock, she began 
to speak, and was wonderfully supported and 
strengthened to fulfil her desire and glorify 
her Savior. Her mind was exerted with 



34 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

extraordinary energy, and continued its ex- 
ercise with short intervals of sleep. 

S. D. S. was the first who came in. She 
said to her, '•'- Sally S., how do you do? (and 
taking her hand) I hope you have come in 
season to take a word of advice. You have 
chosen the Lord for your portion. O! re- 
member it is no small thing. Do not neglect 
the duty of secret prayer. Remember past 
scenes, and do not let the world steal away 
your heart from God." 

W. H. S. came near, and she took his hand 
and said, ^^ William, do not neglect prayer ; 
it is the Christian's life. If you cannot pray 
in the Spirit, pray /or the Spirit." She heard 
J. W.'s voice in the kitchen, and called him 
to her and said, ^' I thank you, J., for all your 
kind attention to me, in carrying me to meet- 
ing through the winter. I hope God will re- 
ward you for it, and give you some one who 
will be as kind to you in old age." 

She thought herself very near her end, 
and desired that all her grand children, who 
were in town, might be sent for, to see her 
breathe her last. In the mean time she said 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 35 

to E. P., '^ Elizabeth, give my love to your 
sister Sarah, and thank her for her kind at- 
tention to me last winter; she has been a 
sweet and pleasant child to me. — Give my 
love to Mr. W., and tell them both to be 
faithful to Christ." 

Afterwards she gave directions to her 
daughter, Mrs. S. about the disposal of her 
rings, &c. After a long pause she exclaim- 
ed, ^^ O ! my dear sister,^ tell her to follow 
on to know the Lord — though we could not 
meet often here — tell her to meet me in 
Heaven !" 

When her grand children came into the 
room, she was saying, ^^ Many — many — many 

will say in that day. Lord, Lord It is not 

what I can say that will save you, but what 
Christ will say on the judgment seat." To 
F. E. G. she said, ^^ Tell all your young ac- 
quaintance from me that nothing is so impor- 
tant as an interest in the Savior. Farewell, 
farewell. Recollect what I have said to you 
from time to time, and O ! may the Lord give 
you a new heart — a heart to love and serve 

* Mrs. Mary Webb, who died in 1833, at the advanced age of ninety- 
three, in the triumphs of faith. 



36 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

him." To Jane T. she said, '^ Jane, I have 
fulfilled my promise to you, that you should 
stay with me as long as I lived. I hope that 
God will give you a new heart. '^ To S. S., 
^^ Sally, you must read your Bible '^ 

She was so much exhausted with exer- 
tion, that she was obliged to make long 
pauses. 

Mrs. J. H. L. came to her bedside, and 
she addressed her in a very aflfectionate man- 
ner, exhorting her to trust in the widow's 
God. ^^ Only trust him," said she, ^^put all 
your trust in him." 

When Mr. D. S. W. came in, she took 
hold of both his hands, and said, ^'O! Mr. 
W., you have been a dear friend of mine; 
we have taken sweet counsel together — we 
shall meet at the right hand — but I hope it 
will be a long time first. — I thought it was 
rather unkind that they should wish to de- 
tain me here — a good hope through grace 
— a good hope." 

To F. M. S., ^^ Frances, you must pray; 
O ! you must pray " 

To Mrs. T. S., ^^ Press forward— perse- 
vere O, there is a throne of grace." 



I 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 37 

Mr. Tucker came in and said, "Mrs. Tap- 
pan, do you still find the promises sureT' 
She answered, " O ! yes, in Him they are 
yea, and in him amen, to the glory of his 
grace." 

She frequently repeated, " O grave ! 
where is thy victory? O death! where is thy 
sting V 

Mrs. S. asked if the everlasting arms 
were her support, and she replied, " O ! yes, 
I feel it! I feel it." 

Dr. B. came to her and said, ^^ Do you 
know me, Mrs. Tappan ?" She answered, 
without opening her eyes, ^^ O yes, it is 
Dr. B." 

Before this time, which was 4 o'clock, 
p. M., B. T. came to her bedside, and she 
took his hand and said, "O! this is ano- 
ther instance of the goodness of God ! he has 
spared my life to speak to this grand child. 
O ! Benjamin, read your Bible, read three 
verses every night before you close your 
eyes to sleep — remember that you must meet 
me at the bar of God — therefore repent and 
live !" 

" Tell R. P. to be a good girl — to remem- 
ber all that I have said to her~to be kind 

4 



38 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

to those dear little children, and teach them 
the way to heaven." 

A neighbor, Mrs. E. P., came near and 
she said, ^^Mrs. P. how do you do 1 I went 
to see you upon a bed of sickness — and now 
you have come to see me die — we do not 
know why God raised you up — take care 
of L. K., Mrs. P., and do not leave the ene- 
my of souls in her way.'' To Mrs. R. E. 
she said, ^^ God is good! God is good! open 
thy mouth wide." These were the last words 
she spoke, except occasionally to make 
known her wants to her daughter, Mrs. S. 

When her husband retired to rest, at 11 
o'clock, he took her hand, and bid her good 
night, and she made several attempts to 
speak, but in vain. Her lethargy had been 
gradually increasing. 

She slept very quietly, not even moving 
her limbs, till 4 o'clock, on the morning of 
Easter Sunday, March 26th, 1826, when, 
without awaking from the sleep of last 
night, or a struggle, she ceased to breathe, 
and sweetly fell asleep in Jesus. '^ O death ! 
where is thy sting ? O grave ! where is thy 
victory 1 thanks be to God, which giveth us 
the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 39 

The funeral of the deceased took place 
on Wednesday, March 29th. So many per- 
sons had expressed a wish to attend the fu- 
neral that it was judged best to have the 
services performed in the Town Hall. Judge 
Howe adjourned the court, which was sitting 
in the town, to allow the persons attending it 
to be present at the funeral. A large con- 
course of people assembled to attend the fune- 
ral solemnities. Rev. Mr. Tucker offered an 
affecting and appropriate prayer. The lid 
of the coffin was then raised to give oppor- 
tunity to the people to see the remains of the 
deceased. One of the family, in a letter, 
written after the funeral solemnities were 
over, remarked^ 

*'The corpse had a full, unwrinkled and youthful ap- 
pearance ; a sweet smile dwelt upon the lips, with an ex- 
pression of serenity and Christian hope that seemed to 
say she left the world in peace and triumph. — Our feel- 
ings, in gazing upon the loved and lifeless remains of one 
whom we had so greatly prized, cannot be described. 
The recollection of her many virtues, of her maternal love 
and solicitude, of her heavenly example, rushed upon the 
mind and deeply affected the heart. I thank God I had 
this privilege, and deeply lament that Providence did not 



40 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 



permit all her children, and grand children, to be here 
on this mournful but interesting occasion. 

'^ After the services at the Hall were concluded the 
funeral procession proceeded to the grave yard. A grave 
had been dug by the side of the place where repose the 
remains of her departed daughter Elizabeth. The coffin 
was slowly lowered into its narrow house. The aged 
senior pastor then, leaning on sister Phoenix's grave stone, 
made a short address, very pertinent to the occasion. 
We were spared the ancient custom of the mourners wait- 
ing to hear the clods thrown upon the coffin. The family 
connections, and Rev. Mr. Tucker, returned to the family 
mansion. For the first time, in this village, the practice 
of the pall-bearers, &c. returning to the house, to partake 
of drink, was omitted. Mr. P. read a paper, found among 
the deceased's papers, giving some account of her life, 
of remarkable providences, and her dying counsel, 

" It appears that she had a presentiment, from the be- 
ginning, that this was her last sickness. She expressed 
no desire to live. On the contrary she repeatedly en- 
joined it upon her praying friends not to intercede with 
God that she might recover. On Wednesday evening 
there was a prayer meeting in the Town Hall, and she 
expressed a desire to have a note sent, desiring prayers. 
It was remarkable that during her long residence in this 
place, and notwithstanding she had reared so large a 
number of children, no note for prayers had ever been 
sent previously on account of sickness in the family, al- 
though it is a general custom to solicit prayers for the sick. 
She requested that prayers might be requested for her, 



MEMOIR OF MRS, TAPPAN. 41 

* being dangerously sick, and exercised with severe 
pain.' 

" She appeared so strong in body and mind, had her 
hearing so perfectly, and was so free from pain, that it 
seemed to many who attended upon her that she would 
recover, even the day before her death. The doctor re- 
marked, ' If it were not for her determination to die, he 
should expect her recovery.' She asked her son-in-law, 
Mr. S., to read to her the last chapter of ' Pilgrim's Pro- 
gress.' Her countenance became highly red and unna- 
tural, and she sank into a lethargic state that indicated 
approaching dissolution. The last portion of Scripture 
she heard was the eighth chapter of Romans, which was 
read at the family devotions on Saturday evening. Very 
many people called to see her. She took each by the 
hand, seemed to know every one, spoke appropriately to 
each one, and took leave of the near friends. This was 
about 8 o'clock Saturday evening. She appeared lethar- 
gic, continued to breathe fainter and fainter, until 4 
o'clock Sabbath morning, when they found she had 
ceased to breathe." 

The following remarks are from the pen 
of the Rev. Mark Tucker, who was intimate- 
ly acquainted with the subject of the above 
narrative, and with the circumstances at- 
tending her death. 

^* Mrs. Tappan, whether considered as to her intellect 
or to the energy of her moral character, was no ordinary 
woman. Though unobtrusive and modest, she was exem- 

4* 



42 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

plary and firm. She was eminently a woman of principle 
— her views of doctrine and duty were enlarged and re- 
markably correct — she read good books extensively, but 
the Bible most of all. She had a great sense of the pu- 
rity of the Divine law, and of the preciousness of Christ. 
Her piety was deep and active — she was not one of those 
fitful Christians, whose religion blazes forth for a season 
and then dies away ; who has much to say about frames 
and ecstacies, and then relapses into stupidity and inac- 
tion — she was uniform, like the rising sun — she was a wo- 
man of prayer. — Often in the dead of winter she would 
rise from her bed at midnight, and go into an upp.er cham- 
ber and wrestle with God for a blessing upon her family 
and the church of Christ. The whole influence of one 
consistent, humble, and praying Christian, cannot be 
known till the judgment. She not only named, but she 
honored the name of Christ. The church in Northamp- 
ton, of which she was a member, was frequently refreshed 
by revivals of religion. There were many causes opera- 
ting there to discountenance spiritual religion. But owing 
to the prayers, zeal, and faithfulness of the real friends of 
evangelical truth, a powerful and numerous church al- 
ways existed. Without detracting from the merits of any, 
and giving full consideration to the services of all, the 
life of Mrs. Tappan may be regarded, as of great value 
to the interests of Christ's kingdom in that place. 

'^ As her life was an exemplification of the holiness 
of the gospel, her death was a confirmation of the pre- 
ciotisness of its hopes. I saw her die. It was the triumph 
of faith — the cloudless setting of an evening sun. Her 
confidence in God was unshaken. Several of her chil* 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 43 

dren, and nearly all of her grand children, were still out of 
the ark of safety. It is impossible to describe her expres- 
sions when speaking on this subject. She was swallowed 
up with the goodness and glory of God — she confided in 
the rectitude of his government — and yet she prayed ear- 
nestly and often for her posterity — she believed they would 
be brought into the kingdom of heaven — she deliberately 
conversed with those present, and sent affecting and dis- 
criminating messages to those absent. 

" The effect of such a death was such as might have 
been anticipated. It quickened and rendered deeply solemn 
the church — it affected and melted some of her family — 
a scene of deeper interest and greater influence soon took 
place in the room where she died, than I ever witnessed. 
At a single meeting five or six expressed a hope of for- 
given sin, who have since given evidence of a spiritual 
change. The circumstances connected with the com- 
mencement of the glorious revival in Northampton, in 
1826, rivetted the impression upon most minds, that it was 
connected in the Providence of God with the death of 
Mrs. Tappan. The change that has since taken place in 
the views and lives of several of her children and immedi- 
ate descendants, have shown still more fully the moral 
power of her death. Precious in the sight of the Lord is 
the death of his saints J^ 

Mrs. Tappan left nine children and sixty- 
one grand children. Several of the latter 
were hopefully converted soon after her de- 
cease; not a few^ have subsequently given 



44 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

their hearts to Christ ; and many of those 
who remain unconverted, will never forget 
the faithful admonitions they received from 
her aged lips. She believed, and so taught, 
that they had ability to become Christians 
whenever they chose. God is wise and 
good ; and such a being would not require 
his creatures to do what they have not pow- 
er to do. He does command immediate re- 
pentance, and therefore, she taught her 
beloved grand children, they can and ought 
to repent without delay. ^' Make you a neiv 
heart and a new spirit ; for why icill ye die 1 
Ezek. xviii, 31. ^' Choose you this day whom 
ye will server Josh, xxiv, 15. ^' Work out 
your own salvation ivith fear and trerahlingP 
Philipians ii, 12. 

Does any one of these beloved grand chil- 
dren inquire, what is repentance 7 Remember 
the instructions of her who taught you, with 
tears, that it was sorrow for sin, renouncing 
the world, choosing the service of Jesus 
Christ. Put it not off a single hour, for God 
has said, ^' He that being often reproved^ har- 
deneth his neck, shall suddenly be destroyedy 
and that icithout remedy P Prov. xxix, L 



APPENDIX 



The following letters were addressed by Mrs. T. to some of 
her children at different periods. 

To I. T. 

Northampton, Sept. 15, 1803. 

My Dear Son — You are mistaken. You are not the 
only son to whom I have not written. I never wrote to 
your brother W. I have had but little leisure to exercise 
my pen since I have been in the married state, but should 
certainly have devoted some part of my time to so pleasing 
an employment as writing to you would have been, had I 
not supposed your mind elevated above being pleased 
with such weak efforts. Your encomiums from a stran- 
ger I should consider as downright flattery, but from a 
son I hope they are sincere, although I know they are not 
just. 

I have often wished for the pen of a ready writer, that 
I might tell you how much your letters, like the morning 
dew on the thirsty earth, refresh and exhilerate our spirits. 
We adore and praise that Being whose providence has 
watched over your childhood and youth, and led you up 
to man. * * * The liope that you will be deeply im- 
pressed with a sense of your obligations to God, and your 
constant dependence upon his providence, and that all 



46 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

the advantages you enjoy may tend to this happy issue, 

affords us more real satisfaction than any increase of 

wealth, however rapid in its progress or permanent in its 

duration, could possibly yields were this hope destroyed. 

My son, we can have no greater joy than to see our 

children devoting their youth to God. Religion, in its 

purity and simplicity, is the only path that leads to solid 

happiness. The practice of it affords the firmest support 

through all the vicissitudes of life. Happy he who can 

say, 

"I have a God to whom I may 
Resort with freedom every day ; 
I'll seek Him when I am in pain, 
I'm sure to hear from him again." 

You have heard of my lameness, and are distressed 
for me ; but why ? I am in the hands of a good God, who 
never laid more upon me than he enabled me to bear, and 
has, all my life long, been my bountiful Benefactor. He 
is even now giving me more cause for joy than sorrow, 
by granting me grace to kiss the rod and bless the hand 
that hath appointed it, by making me thankful it is me, 
and not another of the family, especially that it is not 
your dear father. Blessed be God, my greatest concern 
has been that I might be prepared to meet his will in a 
suitable manner. I hope I can say, '* it is good for me 
that I have been afflicted." I do not remember that I 
ever met with any trouble, since I have been a woman, 
but that I was led by it to see the emptiness of the crea- 
ture, and the all sufficiency of the Creator. This I men- 
tion as a grateful acknowledgment of the mercy of God, 
and an incitement to you to make religion your choice 
now in the days of your youth. 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAFPAN. 47 

I have been much edified by reading a book you 
bought when in New- York, entitled *^ Choice sayings -.of 
dying Saints.'' I cannot add any thing so good as copy- 
ing some of these sayings. '' When Mr. Dodd was told by 
his physician that there was hope of his recovery he replied, 
you make my heart sad. It is as if you should tell one 
who had been at sea in a storm, and was almost at land, 
that he must go back again to be tossed with new winds 
and waves." To a friend of his, who rose from a small, to 
a great estate, he said that *^ this was like stepping out of a 
boat into a barge or ship ; but he ought seriously to remem- 
ber that whilst he was in this world he was but on the float- 
ing sea." At another time he said, ^4f it were lawful to 
envy any one he would envy those who turn to God in 
their youth, whereby they escape much sin and sorrow, and 
are like Jacob, who stole the blessing betimes." 

Thus, without doubt, did your excellent uncle ; and 
what a lustre has he left behind him,* Who can re- 

* Rev. David Tappan, Professor of Divinity in Harvard College, 
who died, after a short sickness, August 27, 1803, aged fifty-one. In June 
1792, he was elected Professor of Divinity in Harvard College in the 
place of Dr. Wigglesworth, who had resigned, and after anxious deli- 
beration and the advice of an ecclesiastical council, he was inaugurated 
Dec. 26, 1772. When he was introduced into this ofl5ce, the students 
of the university were uncommonly dissolute. For some ,time they 
had received no regular instruction in theology, and the tide of opinion 
began to run in the channel of infidelity. But the lectures of Dr. Tap- 
pan, which combined entertainment with information, which were pro- 
found and yet pathetic, elegant in style and conclusive in argument, and 
which came warm from a pious heart, soon checked the progress of pro- 
faneness and dissipation, and put open irreligion to shame. He pos- 
sessed much activity and vigor of mind, fertility of invention, and force 
of imagination. He had a facility in fixing his attention, and discrimi- 



48 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

fleet upon what he was, and think of what he now is, 
without feeling themselves strongly impelled to go and do 
likewise ; that let their occupation be what it may they 
will live the life of a Christian, and in their latter end, 

nating and arranging his thoughts. His readiness of conception, and 
command of language, enabled him, both in speaking and writing, to 
express what he thought and felt with propriety, perspicuity, and 
force. The religious principles, which he embraced, were the doc- 
trines of the eternal counsels of Jehovah ; man's fallen, ruined state ; the 
electing love of God ; the atonement of Christ ; justification by grace j 
and the efficacy of the divine Spirit in renewing sinners and preparing 
ihem for glory. The doctrine of redemption by a crucified Savior con- 
stituted in his view the basis of the gospel. In such a light did he re- 
gard the proper divinity of Jesus Christ, that he declared it to be " the 
rock of his eternal hopes." To benevolence and candor, sincerity in 
speech, and uprightness in conduct, he joined the careful cultivation 
and practice of the personal virtues. He was superior to all fretful and 
anxious thoughts about his temporal affairs, and to all vanity of exter- 
nal appearance. When tried by the ignorance and stupidity, or by the 
perverseness and injustice of men, he was calm and collected. For 
the conduct of those, who had treated him with the most painful un- 
kindness, he invented the most charitable excuses, and even sought 
opportunities of doing them good. His religion as well as his nature, 
disposed him to sympathy, tenderness and love. Kind affections light- 
ed up his countenance, gave a glow to his conversation, and cheerful- 
ness to his active benevolence. When arrested by his last sickness, 
and warned of his approaching dissolution, he was not discomposed. 
With many expressions of humihty and self-abasement intermingled, 
he declared his hope in the infinite mercy of God through the atone- 
ment of Christ. When his wife expressed some of the feelings, which 
were excited by the thought of parting with him, he said, " if God is 
glorified, I am made forever. Can't you lay hold of that?" To his 
sons he said, "I charge you to love God supremely, and to love your 
neighbor as yourselves ; for without these there is no true religion." 
He had such a sense of the evil of sin and of his own ill desert, that 
nothing could afford him consolation, but the all sufficient grace of the 
Redeemer. In Jesus Christ his soul found rest— Allen' s Biag. Diet. 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 49 

and future glory, be like those blessed ones who die in 
the Lord, who rest from their labors and their works shall 
follow them. That you, my dear son, be thus blessed is 
the sincere prayer of your affectionate mother, 

Sarah Tappan. 



To I. T. 

This letter was written soon after I. T.'s escape from the ship- 
wreck of ship Jupiter, on her passage from London to New- York. 

Northampton, May 3, 1805. 

My Dear Son — I long to fold you in my maternal em- 
brace, and renewedly give you up to that God to whom 
you were devoted before you saw the light, who has heard 
my prayer and granted my request, when, without know- 
ing your situation, I besought him in the hour of danger to 
hold you as in the hollow of his hand, and bring you in 
safety to your desired haven, or (with, I hope, a humble 
submission) to fit me for his holy will. ^^ Bless the Lord, 
O my soul, and forget not all his benefits." In your dis- 
tress you sought the Lord, and he heard you, and delivered 
you out of all your troubles. 

Your preservation was wonderful, and you are, I trust, 
ready to adopt the language of the Psalmist, and say, '* I 
love the Lord, because he hath heard my voice, and my 
supplications;" and so on through almost the whole of the 
116 Psalm, particularly the twelfth, thirteenth and four- 
teenth verses. You are under peculiar obligations to pay 
your vows to the Most High, whose strong arm has 
wrought such almost miraculous deliverance for you. The 
5 



50 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAFPAN. 

vanity and uncertainty of all sublunary things have been 
'^n a very solemn and awful manner opened to your view. 
You have doubtless realized the importance of being pre- 
pared for death, and seen that nothing could support you in 
your forlorn situation, but an interest in the dear Re- 
deemer's merits. God grant that such impressions may 
abide by you through life, and that you may have cause to 
say, it was the happiest event you ever met with. 

I am happy that so many of your brothers were in Bos- 
ton when you arrived, and hope they will profit by your 
experience, and be edified by your example. They all 
love you dearly, and of course what you say or do will 
have great weight with them. =* * * Adieu, my dear 
son, — that you may be the peculiar care of an ever-watch- 
ful providence, is the prayer of your affectionate mother, 

S. Tappan. 



To C. T., A. T. and L. T. 

Northampton, May 9, 1805. 

My Dear Sons — As I have not time to write to each 
of you a separate letter, I wish you to consider this as the 
most ardent expression of my love to you all. 

I doubt not you are deeply afiected with the situation 
in which your dear brother has been placed.* By an 

* I. T. was a passenger in the ship Jupiter which sailed from Lon- 
don for New-York in the early part of 1805, with seventy-two passen- 
gers. On the 6th of April, there was a great deal of ice seen, and be- 
fore night, no way could be found through it. At midnight the first 
mate was so intoxicated that he fell upon deck, and the captain being 
upon the bowsprit, looking out for the islands of ice to direct the men 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 51 

overruling providence God has returned him to his friends, 
laden with abundant experience of his great povi^er and 
wonderful mercy. Dearly beloved as he is by you, and 
deeply interested as I know you are in all his concerns, I 
would, at this tender moment, when your feelings are all 
alive, endeavor to lead your minds to the consideration of 
the importance of religion, the worth and excellence of a 
glorious Mediator and Intercessor ; and the safety of ap- 
pearing in his righteousness. * * * * 

Inquire of your brother what were his views at that 
awful crisis. He is, as it were, risen from the dead. Al- 
though he can bring you no tidings from the invisible 
world, yet he has been on the brink of eternity, in full pos- 
session of himself, and for a length of time, when he had 
much opportunity for reflection. Listen to what he says as 
for your life. What was of importance to him, is equally 
so to you. You have no lease of your life ; it is even as a 
vapor that passeth away ; death is always near, and we 

how to avoid them, there was no one to steer the ship arightj/and she 
struck the ice. The ship began to fill with water very fast. The boats 
were got out, and all but twenty-seven sprang into them. But the 
boats could hold no more, and all the rest, men, women and children, 
went down in the ship, in less than an hour after she struck the ice. 
One man with his wife and nine children, were among those who 
were lost. Another man lost his mother, brother, sister and two 
nephews. I. T. was providentially saved, with forty-five others, one 
of whom was a babe only six months old. He was in the yawl, which 
together with the long boat, was on the ocean three days before they 
saw a vessel. They were taken up and brought safe to the United 
States, having suffered by being somewhat frozen. Such a remarka- 
ble deliverance naturally awakened emotions of deep gratitude in the 
hearts of the pious friends of those who had been thus rescued from 
death. 



52 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

know not how soon we may be arrested. And if we knew 
that as to us it were removed to a late period, should we 
lose any thing by being prepared ? Surely not, but we 
should find much solid enjoyment which the world can 
neither give, nor take from us. O that you were wise, 
that you considered your latter end, is the prayer of your 
affectionate mother, S. Tafpan. 



To I. T. 

Northampton, June 4, 1805. 

My Dear Son — An indulgent God has permitted us 
to enjoy the happiness of beholding each others face again 
in the land of the living. I trust our hearts were and still 
are deeply impressed with gratitude for all the wonderful 
works of Providence in our behalf. But it is with sincere 
regret that I reflect upon my barrenness in conversation. 
I can only say with the Apostle, ** to will is present with 
me, but how to perform I know not." Yet I cannot for- 
give myself that when in company with aunt Waters* and 

I should forbear to speak much of the goodness of 

God. At the latter place, I fear, I was guilty of levity. 
This confession I am constrained to make, lest I should 
cast a stumbling-block in your way, and grieve the chil- 
dren of God. 

I know not how you are as to the state of your mind, 

"^ Mrs. Abigail Waters, of Boston, aunt to Mrs. Tappan, who 
died Nov. 22, 1816, in the ninety-sixth year of her age. She was 
truly a mother in Israel. The last words uttered by her were — " Open 
to me the gates, that I may enter in !" See " Memoirs of the Life of 
Mrs. Abigail Waters," by the late Rev. Joshua Huntington, Pastor of 
the Old South Church, Boston. 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 53 

and yet I have seen you. I hope you will not be so affect- 
ed by the gay scenes which surround you as to lose the ef- 
fect which God's awful providences had made upon your 
mind. O, my son, give yourself up to that God whose 
you are by every possible obligation but that of your oicn 
consent. Let not that be wanting. Delay not in a mat- 
ter of such infinite importance. It is but your reasonable 
service. Religion is your highest privilege ; the practice 
of its precepts will be its own reward ; it will afford you 
that solid happiness which the world can neither give nor 
take from you ; that which will be as an anchor to the 
soul in all the trying scenes of this uncertain life. 

Believe me when I tell you it has strewed my path 
with flowers, and given such a turn to the various provi- 
dences which I have met with, that I cannot recollect 
one which I would not include among my choicest mer- 
cies. *' O, taste and see that the Lord is good ;" a God 
full of tender compassion, not willing that any should pe- 
rish. Write to me, my dear son, and open your mind 
freely. I long to know the various exercises of it. God 
grant that they may be saving, is the prayer of your affec- 
tionate mother, S. Tappan. 



To L. T. 

Northampton, July 28, 1805. 
My Dear Son — It is true I have time enough to 
write ; and if I had not, a hint from one of my children 
that one line, on serious truths, would be welcome, were 
sufficient to induce me to redeem it, even from my sleep. 
When you were at home I could speak occasionally, and 
5* 



54 MEMOIR OP MRS. TAPPAN. 

my manner enforced what I said, but I fear to write, 
lest my want of ability should injure the cause I wish to 
promote. 

If God is affording you grace to reflect seriously, and 
is watering the good seed which was sown in your early 
years, by the strivings of his Holy Spirit, to Him be all 
the glory. * "^ * It is Jesus who has all power in hea- 
ven and on earth, who is your mediator. He affords you 
one opportunity more. O seek him while he may be 
found ; call upon him in good earnest ; never was one 
sincere, humble penitent, sent empty away. 

You need not, you cannot, mend yourself before you 
come to him. It was sinners he died to save ; as such 
you may safely apply for pardon. In and through his 
merits alone you are to hope for acceptance. If you seek 
him he will be found of you. Cast away all your own 
righteousness as *^ filthy rags." Do not mistake restraining 
grace for your own merits. Depend upon it you are, by 
nature, as vile a sinner as breathes ; and by practice you 
had been equally bad, but for the restraints of an invisible 
and almighty power. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ 

God is still waiting to be gracious ; he is inviting you 
to come and take of the waters of life freely, ** without 
money and without price." To-morrow, or to-night, may 
be too late, for you may be summoned before your Judge ; 
or if your life is spared you may be hardened in sin ; and 
if his Spirit should cease from striving with you, you are 
undone forever. That you may dare to be singular in 
a good cause ; shun the paths of sin and folly ; and seek 
first the kingdom of God, is the sincere prayer of your 
affectionate mother, S. T. 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 65 



To I. T. 

Northampton, July, 29, 1805. 

My Dear Son — I thought, when you were here, I 
discovered in your mind a solicitude to make religion your 
study, and a desire to make it your choice. * * * The 
blood of Jesus Christ cleanseth from all sin. In him 
alone is our safety. These are his gracious words, ** him 
that Cometh unto me I will in no wise cast out." Again, 
*' whosoever will let him come and take of the waters of 
life freely, without money and without price." Again, " I 
came not to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance." 
What gracious encouragement ! * * * O, give yourself 
up to ©hrist, guilty, weak, and helpless as you are. Cry 
earnestly to him, plead his promises — wage open war with 
all sin, and press eagerly after holiness — get a thorough 
acquaintance with your own heart ; entreat the Lord to 
discover it to you. It is indeed deceitful above all things, 
and desperately wicked, who can know it ? None, with- 
out the divine influences of the Holy Spirit. Tempt him 
not to depart from you. 

God has spared your life in a very remarkable man- 
ner. He is lengthening out your day and your means ; 
and in his wonderful providence is seen probably calling 
upon you for the last time. I hope he has touched your 
heart ; that he will perfect that which he has begun ; and 
not suffer you to increase your own condemnation by 
slighting the offers of mercy after so richly experiencing 
his clemency. 

Your advantages for living a life of religion are, on 



56 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

many accounts, peculiarly favorable. The prayers of 
some of God's children are daily offered up in your be- 
half; you have their example and their society ; you wish 
for their approbation. Think how your situation might 
have been reversed, and adore the goodness of God. May 
you be influenced by the Holy Spirit — may you see that 
Jesus Christ is just such a Savior as your necessities call 
for, as you yourself could wish ; that he is infinitely able, 
and willing, to save to the uttermost all that put their trust 
in him. They that seek shall find. That you may be 
guided in paths of wisdom and truth is the sincere prayer 
of your affectionate mother, Sarah Tappan. 

P. S. I should be very much pleased to receive a let- 
ter — a confidential letter — from you, respecting y«ur reli- 
gious exercise. Surely none can feel more interest than 
your mother, S. T. 



To L. T. 

Northampton, April 29, 1806, 
My Dear Child— By your desire to own the maga- 
zines I am encouraged to hope that you are inclined 
seriously to inquire after truth. * * =^ O seek, and you 
shall find mercy. God has provided a glorious Mediator 
and Instructor ; and in, and through him, offers pardon to all 
who will penitently and humbly accept of it. * * ^ Medi- 
tate much on the evil of sin, and your obligations to de- 
vote a life so filled up with mercies, to your Almighty 
Benefactor, lest He should withdraw the divine influences 
of his Holy spirit from you, and leave you to your own 
iusfs. 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 57 

Think not a moral character sufficient, lest, with the 
young man in the gospel, when you are not far from the 
kingdom of heaven, you should be refused admittance. 
The condescension of God, in making such rich provision 
for fallen man, is unspeakably great. Our depravity is so 
great that we cannot atone for one of the least of our sins. 
How then can we merit any mercy ? Yet He is graciously 
offering both pardon and acceptance, for the sake of 
Jesus Christ, who freely oifered himself a sacrifice to 
satisfy divine justice, for all who will believe in him. 
It is unbelief that blinds the world to their true in- 
terests. 

That God may, in his infinite mercy, open the eyes of 
my children ; and bring them to a knowledge of himself, 
prays your affectionate mother. 



To L. T. 

Northampton, Dec. 11, 1806. 

Dear L. — Your repeated requests, that I would write 
to you have not been forgotten ; neither does a day pass in 
which my children are not frequently the subjects of my 
warmest gratitude, and ardent prayers. * * * A kind 
providence has thus far restrained them from vice, or at 
least shielded them from infamy ; and I enjoy the happi- 
ness of thinking they are so, as far as reputation is con- 
cerned, but I know, by woful experience, that by na- 
ture they are totally depraved, and that if they were not 
under the influence of restraining grace they would be 
vile as the vilest sinner that ever lived. 

If you read the Bible seriously, you will see that your 
heart answers to its descriptions. It will pierce even to 



58 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and will discern 
the thoughts and intents of the heart. To encourage 
you to read the Bible attentively I will add a quotation 
from a sermon of your uncle, Dr. Tappan. " It is the pe- 
culiar glory of our religion that the same evangelical truths 
both wound and heal, depress and elevate the soul of man, 
by showing him, in one impressive view, his own unspeak. 
able ruin, and the infinitely rich and free, yet wise and 
holy, mercy of God. How remarkably is this verified 
in those doctrines which hold up a Divine Mediator, 
offering up his life on the cross to expiate human guilt ; 
and a Divine Sanctifier, by his own gracious and powerful 
operations, restoring the discordant mind to spiritual health 
and joy." 

But you will say, " this is not such a letter as I wished 
for. Why cannot my mother write as most people do ? 
Why must she be always preaching ? I have heard 
enough of this." My dear child, it is because I wish to 
see you every thing desirable, and I know the foundation 
must be laid in true love to God, and obedience to his 
commands. But I will conclude this subject with another 
quotation, '' whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things 
are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things 
are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things 
are of good report ; if there be any virtue, and if there be 
any praise, think on these thing s.^^ 

E. is a great comfort to us. She seems only intent on 
the improvement of time, and the discharge of her duty, 
at as great a remove from the gay part of society as though 
there were none within one hundred miles of her. She is 
cheerful and happy. 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 59 

To L. T. 

Northampton, June 24, 1807. 
Dear L. — I am sorry you should think me severe, in 
what I wrote you. It was not my intention to be so. * * 
As to advising you to consider your ways, it was a quota- 
tion from the Bible. Sinners are there called upon to 
consider their ways. I hope you are willing to acknowl- 
edge that you are a sinner, and that it would be wise to 
consider for what you have been sent into this world, and 
what is like to be your portion in a future state. 

It is not my wish, my dear son, to rob you of happi- 
ness. I would fain assist you in building it on a sure 
foundation ; and in my opinion there is no other founda- 
tion but that which is laid in Christ Jesus. He must be 
the corner-stone ; and in order to build thereon you 
have the influences of the Holy Spirit to enlighten your 
understanding, that you may see your lost, undone condi- 
tion, both by nature and practice. * * * The Scriptures 
inform us that we must be born again, or we cannot enter 
into the kingdom of heaven. This can mean nothrng else 
but an entire change of heart and pursuits ; we must love 
God supremely, and place our chief happiness in obeying 
his precepts ; we must hate sin sincerely, and strive con- 
stantly to overcome our evil propensities, not in our own 
strength, but relying on promised assistance from Him 
who hath said, my strength shall be made perfect in your 
weakness, and my grace is at all times sufficient for you. 
If we engage in religion, we shall have God on our 
side. The. Bible is full of encouragement to those who 



60 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

diligently seek for true wisdom, and assures us that her 
ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace. 

From forty years experience I can subscribe to the 
truth of it. I have ever found more solid peace and hap- 
piness in casting all my care upon God, and committing 
all my concerns into his hands, to be disposed of as infi- 
nite wisdom should direct, with a humble sense of my 
own unworthiness of any mercy, and inability to direct or 
choose for myself, than all the world can afford. 

Try, my dear son, for yourself; give up your youth to 
God ; seek him diligently — the promise is, they that seek 
shall find, to him that knocketh the door shall be opened. 
You are a probationer for eternity, a prisoner of hope. 
O, delay not, death may be at the door. What will it 
avail you to gain the whole world and lose your own soul ? 

Pray for the outpouring of the Holy Spirit,* plead the 
merits of the atonement of the Son of God, who died that 
sinners might live ; who came not to call the righteous, but 
sinners, to repentance ; who stands with open arms inviting 
all to come ; whosoever will, let him come, and take of the 
waters. of life freely, without money and without price. 
The word of God is plain ; and he that runs may read. 
Build your faith upon that, and not on the opinion of those 
who would wrest the Scriptures to their own destruction. 

I experimentally believe the doctrines of grace to be 

* It was not the practice in those days, so much as it is now, to 
exhort impenitent sinners to repent as the first duty God requires of 
them. For want of urging upon children this duty, in imitation of 
Christ and his apostles, many, doubtless, use the means, as they are 
called, of becoming pious, and fail in finding salvation. Every thing 
the sinner does before he repents is displeasing to God. 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 61 

true, and I have no wish that they should be otherwise. 
I feel as though all my present comfort and future happiness 
depended upon their being true. That all my children 
may be brought to the knowledge of the truth is the sin- 
cere prayer of your affectionate mother. 



To L. T. 

Northampton, August 8, 1807. 

Dear L. — * * * You write that you are drafted as 
a soldier. May you never be called for. But if you were 
a volunteer, under the banners of Jesus Christ, I should 
have nothing to fear. O, my child, that you were thus 
prepared for all events. If ever we had a call to prepare 
to meet our God, it is at the present day, a day indeed of 
doubtful expectations, a season in which each of us should 
examine himself, and see how far he is instrumental 
in bringing down the judgments of God upon a guilty 
land. 

It is not enough that we have not been left to commit 
open and flagrant crimes. Our hearts are prone to sin, 
and that continually, and we have cause to be daily hum- 
bled before God for our innumerable transgressions. What 
cause have we for thankfulness that we have an advocate 
on high, in and through whom we may hope for mercy, if 
we sincerely seek for it. That my dear children may all 
thus seek is the prayer of your affectionate mother. 

P. S. As I have a few moments to spare, I am unwill- 
ing to send this blank, and therefore shall fill the space 

6 



fXi MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

with part of a letter which Mr. David Brainerd wrote to 
his brother. 

*' Never expect any satisfaction or happiness from the 
world. If you hope for happiness in the world, hope for 
it from God, and not from the world. Do not think you 
shall be more happy if you live to such or such a state of 
life, if you live to be yourself, to be settled in the world, 
or if you should gain an estate in it : but look upon it that 
you shall then be happy, when you can be constantly em- 
ployed for God, and not for yourself; and desire to live in 
this world, only to do and suffer what God allots to you. 
When you can be of the spirit and temper of angels, who 
are willing to come down into this lower world, to perform 
what God commands them, though their desires are hea^ 
venly, and not in the least set on earthly things, then you 
will be of that temper which you ought to have. Col. iii. 2. 

'' Once more ; Never think that you can live to God 
by your own power or strength ; but always look to, and 
rely on him for assistance, yea for all strength and grace. 
There is no greater truth than this, that ' we can do noth- 
ing of ourselves ;' (John xv. 5. and 2 Cor. iii. 5.) yet noth- 
ing but our own experience can effectually teach it us. 
Indeed, we are a long time in learning, that all our 
strength and salvation, is in God. This is a life which 
I think no unconverted man can possibly live ; and yet it 
is a life which every godly soul is pressing after, in some 
good measure. Let it then be your great concern, thus 
to devote yourself and your all to God." 

I hope you will think this is something new. Give 
my love to A. This letter must answer for you both. 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 63 

To L. T. 

NoRTHAMPTONj October, 1807. 
Dear L. — I write to you as I hope your father will 
leave Boston too soon to receive a letter if I should write 
to him * * * I have recovered my usual health, and 
although very lonesome, I live very secure, both by night 
and by day. The watchful care of a kind Providence is 
a sure safe-guard, and on that I wish ever to rely. In so 
doing I believe I shall ever find protection. I would, 
above all things, recommend to my children to cast all 
their care upon God, and commit their ways to Him. If 
they are his, he will care for them, and direct all their 
steps. Can I wish them a greater good? Surely not. 
O that they knew in this their day the things which belong 
to their peace ! * * * It is Saturday, and my time will 
not allow me to add more than, I am your affectionate 
mother. 



To. L. T. 

Northampton, June, 1809. 

My Dear L. — In what way can your parents manifest 
their affection more fully for their children, than by a ten- 
der solicitude for their souls ? * * * We fear you have 
not ardently sought after that wisdom which is from above ; 
we fear you lack the one thing needful, without which 
you can have no solid peace here, nor happiness here- 
after. O, be intreated to seek earnestly for this pearl of 
great price. You have a sure word of promise that in so 
doing you shall find. The word saith, whosoever will, let 



64 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

him take of the waters of life freely, without money and 
without price. A most gracious offer, and yet, amazing 
as it is, sinners refuse to accept of it. The voice of wis- 
dom is, *' O that they were wise, that they understood 
this, that they would consider their latter end." 

You are now launching out into the world, to act an 
important part for yourself; and you will probably be 
placed in a very responsible situation. Like most other 
young persons you may have a high opinion of your own 
sufficiency and wisdom ; but, O, remember that it is the 
blessing of God which maketh rich, and addeth no sorrow 
therewith. Commit your ways to Him, and he will direct 
your paths ; consider what it will profit you to gain the 
whole world, and lose your soul ; let integrity mark well 
your doings ; shun the society of the vain, I hope I need 
not add, the profligate. * * * 

I am not in the way of laying much stress upon 
dreams, but sometimes they so deeply impress my mind 
that I cannot easily forget them. How much cause have 
I to adore that God, who is continually the guardian of 
me and mine, that the deep distress I have lately had on 
your account, was all an illusion. O, my son, had it pro- 
ved true, you would indeed have then brought your aged 
parents with sorrow to the grave. I will relate, as far as 
memory assists me, the substance. 

Methought you had, by frequenting the theatre, been 
drawn into the society of lewd women, and had contracted, 
in consequence of it, a disease, that was preying upon 
your constitution, and undermining your health ; that by 
recourse to quackery, in hopes, if possible, to conceal it 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 65 

you were past recovery. I viewed you as ruined for this 
world, and expecting a dreadful retribution in the next. 
The effect it had upon me is past description, but, blessed 
be God, it was not of long duration. I can never forget 
it, nor can I otherwise think of it than as the voice of God 
to quicken me to a more faithful discharge of duty. I 
have been too proud to write to my children upon the 
most important concerns, from a consciousness that I 
could not well express what I wished to write. But I 
think I did wrong ; I ought to have depended more upon 
God to direct and bless my imperfect attempts to serve 
him : and it is from this conviction I write now. 

O my child, I entreat you to live in the practise 
of secret prayer ; endeavor to feel and acknowledge your 
dependence upon God for the future, and your obligations 
to him for all past favors. You have not been your own 
keeper, neither are you able to defend yourself against 
attacks of sin and Satan. You are by nature exceedingly 
depraved, and are surrounded by snares and temptations 
on every side. There is no safety but in God. Think 
how much you have sinned against him already ; how 
much of your time is past, and perhaps you have misim- 
proved the whole ; how many good resolutions you have 
broken ; and let these reflections humble you deeply before 
J' your offended Maker. 

Go to him in sincere prayer, confess your guilt, and 
implore mercy, for Jesus' sake. Beg of him a renewed 
heart, that he would deliver you from unbelief, and make 
you willing to see the necessity of being born again. 
Endeavor to see the all-sufficiency of that Savior whom 
6* 



66 MEMOIR OP MRS. TAPPAN". 

God has provided ; that He has indeed laid help upon one 
who is mighty to save to the uttermost all who believe on 
him. Be much in reading the Bible : it is able to make 
you wise unto salvation. Sinners are there urged to flee 
from the wrath to come, and to lay down the weapons of 
their rebellion. There you will find many great and pre- 
cious promises to those who seek after an interest in the 
covenant grace. There it is said, now is the accepted 
time, now is the day of salvation. The present time may 
be the only time. God has said, my Spirit shall not 
always strive with the children of men. O tremble, lest 
you quench his blessed motions, and force him to depart 
from you. Now if you will hear his voice harden not your 
heart. 

My son, give me thine heart, is the call of God to us 

all. Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, 

and mind, and soul, and strength; this is the first and 

great command. Shall we refuse him his just due, and 

yet expect to live upon his bounty, and form schemes of 

future aggrandizement, in defiance of his anger, as, alas, 

too many do, if we may judge by appearances. But, O my 

son, I hope better things of you. May God, in his infinite 

mercy, grant that my hopes, and not my illusions, may be 

realized. And now, my dear son, I commend you to God ; 

may he preserve you from the dangers of this wicked 

World, guide you by his counsel, make you willing to seek 

and serve him all your days, and at last bring you to dwell 

for ever with him in glory, is the sincere prayer of your 

affectionate mother. 



MEMOIR OP MRS. TAPPAN. 67 

To L. T, and S. A. T. 

Northampton, December, 25, 1817. 

My Dear Children^ — Your parents do indeed sym- 
pathize with you under your grievous affliction. You 
have just cause to call upon your friends for pity, for 
surely the hand of God hath smitten you in a very tender 
part. Our dear babes are to us as the apple of the eye, 
and we can neither see them suffer, nor be willing to part 
with them, without having our hearts torn as it were 
asunder, unless God is pleased to discover himself to us, 
as he really is. Although the sovereign of the universe, 
yet he is full of compassion, not willing to grieve nor 
afflict the work of his hands ; it is only if need be that we 
are chastised, and it is in heaviness when he is pleased to 
give us this view of his character. Then it is we find our 
hearts sweetly bowed to his will, and are enabled to desire 
a mind truly resigned. 

It was what I discovered of this in your letter, dear 
L. that constrained me, with tears streaming from my 
eyes, to raise them, with my heart, to heaven in sincere 
adoration and praise on your behalf, for had not the Lord 
seen fit to place you in the school of adversity you never 
had written such a letter. But now I hope you will say with 
the Psalmist, '' It is good for me that I have been afflicted.' ' 
It has been my most ardent and unremitted prayer for you 
that God would guide your inquiries, and lead you to the 
knowledge of himself in all his divine attributes and glo- 



68 MEMOIR OP MRS. TAPPAN. 

rious characters ; and I trust he is granting my request, 
although by a way I little thought of. But his ways are 
not as our ways, nor his thoughts as our thoughts. 

If he sees fit to take your dear child to himself, there 
is still much consolation for you. Our divine Lord and 
Savior, when on earth, took little children in his arms, 
and blessed them, saying, that of such is the kingdom of 
heaven. It is believed that he made full atonement for origi- 
nal sin for all ; and that the innumerable company which the 
apostle John saw, of all nations, standing before the throne, 
clothed in white, with palms in their hands, were infants. 
Believing thus I cannot grieve when such are removed 
from a world of sin and suffering to perfect happiness and 
glory, although pity will make me weep for the bereaved. 

I do trust that God, by this trial, is bringing you, my 
dear children, nearer to himself, and will teach you the 
vanity of all created good. May you also learn the value 
of that gracious promise which our Savior made when he 
said, **Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, 
and I will give you rest.'' Go to him, then, with all your 
sorrows, believing that as God he is able to perform all he 
has engaged to, and that he is as ready to accept you, 
and relieve your distress, as he did those who came to be 
healed when he was on earth. For his ear is not heavy, 
nor his arm shortened, that he cannot save to the utter- 
most all who believe in him. But, alas, our unbelief 
shuts us up from his mercy, and we ought to be constantly 
crying to him to shower down on us the divine influences 
of his Holy Spirit, to remove our unbelief and increase 
our faith, for without him, as we are nothing and have 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. W 

nothing but sin, so we can do nothing to help ourselves. 
But through him we can do all things ; and we have his 
sure, precious promise, that his strength shall be made 
perfect in our weakness, and his grace is at all times suffi- 
cient for us. How astonishing is his condescension. 
Surely we must own the sentence just that excludes all 
who will not accept this. 



To L. T. 

Northampton, April 6, 1819. 

Dear L. — I have carefully perused your letter, and 
can only say that your views of salvation, and mine, are 
widely different. Mine are faith in Jesus Christ, as God- 
man, Mediator. Here I rest all my hopes. Not fifty 
years, I humbly trust, sincerely devoted to his service, 
afford me any ground of hope, any farther than as eviden- 
ces of my adoption. Every action of my life has been so 
wofully polluted by indwelling sin, that without an almighty 
and infinite atonement, I could never dare to appear before 
infinite purity ; and therefore I ought to abhor myself and 
repent in dust and ashes, while with an eye of faith I look 
to Jesus as my Prophet, Priest, and King, confidently 
trusting in him for pardon and acceptance. 

The Scripture saith, not by works of righteousness 
which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us 
by the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy 
Ghost, and that not of blood nor the will of man, but of 
God, for it is God who works in us both to will and to do. 
Although in myself I find no resting place, yet by the ope- 



70 MEMOIR OF MRS, TAPPAN. 

ration of the Holy Spirit working faith in me, I hope to 
be both sanctified and justified. From trust in the merits of 
a glorified Savior I derive all my strength and righteous- 
ness, and all my dependence for guidance and instruction 
is on the divine influences of the Spirit, enlightening my 
understanding to know and do his will, as revealed in the 
Scriptures, all which I believe to be divinely inspired and 
given for our instruction. 

Paul and James are united, in my view, and I believe 
faith will produce good works as necessarily as fire will 
produce heat, and that by works faith is made perfect. 
By faith I understand confidence in God that he will ful- 
fil all his promises. Faith is the substance of things hoped 
for, the evidence of things not seen ; by grace are ye 
saved through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is the 
gift of God, not of works, lest any man should boast. 

But, dear L., who reproaches you ? Surely not your 
parents. We consider our children as our joy and crown 
of rejoicing, and I trust they are acknowledged as such 
by us both in our grateful praises to the Author of all good. 
* * * As expectants of eternal life it is our most earnest 
desire that we may spend an eternity together. It is for 
this we speak and write. We cannot think you and we are 
agreed in fundamentals, and although we do not believe 
opinions are religion, yet we think they are the means by 
which God is pleased to work upon the heart and show a 
sinner his utterly forlorn state without a new heart and an 
interest in redeeming love, or what the Scriptures call the 
new birth. 

Where the doctrines of grace are faithfully preached 



MEMOIR OP MRS. TAPPAN. 71 

it is followed by an outpouring of the Holy Spirit ; sinners 
are pricked in the heart, and earnestly enquire, what they 
shall do to be saved 1 Can this be the case when they 
are taught to depend on their own ability to keep all God's 
commands, and that their sincerity, though erring, shall 
be accepted ? I am sure, my dear child, if God has ever 
enabled you to look into your own heart, you have seen 
more errors there than duties performed, and has not the 
word said that whosoever fails in one point is guilty of all, 
and that by the deeds of the law no flesh shall be justified, 
and that we are justified freely by his grace through the 
redemption that is in Jesus Christ. 

O, my son, call no man master, but lay all your sup- 
posed attainments at the feet of your Savior ; there plead 
earnestly, plead for that wisdom which is from above, and 
having an high priest over the house of God, let us draw 
near in full assurance of faith, with a true heart, believing 
he is able to save to the uttermost them that come unto 
God by him, seeing he ever liveth to make intercession for 
them. If he inclines your heart to seek him, he will, I 
trust, lead you on to the perfect day. He is the only 
effectual teacher. Remember he says, blessed are the 
meek, and the poor in spirit, the humble and contrite. 

Pride is, I believe, our most besetting sin ; at least I 
find it so. Do not seek to hide from your view the depra- 
vity of your nature. We are by nature exceeding sinful ; 
the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately 
wicked, who can know it ? We cannot change it, nor of 
ourselves do any good thing. Search the Scriptures; 
they are adapted to the meanest capacity ; he that runs 



73 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

may read, and understand enough to instruct him in every 
duty. It is the poor man's library, without comment, or 
any instructor save the Holy Spirit ; it will make him 
wise unto salvation, and God has promised to give his 
Holy Spirit to them that ask. 

You have drawn up an excellent set of moral duties ; 
the world would indeed be another kind of place than it 
is if its inhabitants lived up to them. But the difficulty is, 
no one lives in the habitual practise of them ; the best of 
men fall short, I have no doubt. Inculcating such duties 
has a tendency to benefit society, but I must think 
that a change of heart would have a much more pov/erful 
effect, for that would lead the man to do all the whole 
law, at least to strive after perfection from nobler motives, 
such as love to God, and a desire to do all for his glory. 
It would make him hate sin, not through fear of punish- 
ment, but because it was hateful to God, and had crucified 
his Savior. For this he would shun the very appearance 
of evil, and thus he would not attempt in his own strength, 
but live at the throne of grace, and by prayer draw 
continual supplies to help in every time of need. 

These are my opinions, and I think they are Scriptu- 
ral. I certainly think I have had some experimental 
knowledge of what I write. If I did not think that Christ 
was an all-sufficient atonement, and that his righteousness 
would be sufficient for me, what should I do ? To what 
resort ? Blessed be God who giveth us the victory through 
our Lord Jesus Christ ; yes our Lord, who is one with God 
the Father and Holy Spirit, or he would be no support to 
me. Well might the apostle say, great is the mystery of 



MEMOIR OP MRS. TAPPAN. 73 

godliness, God manifest in the flesh. What amazing con- 
descension that one, who thought it not robbery to be 
equal with God, should take on him the nature of man, 
and that for rebels such as we. Unsearchable riches in- 
deed, bat not the less true, although it proved a stone of 
stumbling to many and a rock of offense, but to him that 
believes, the chief corner stone of all his hopes. Here he 
may rest securely amidst all the storms of this vain, tran- 
sitory life ; his Savior is at the helm, and he is God, for 
no other could raise the dead, or still the swelling waves. 
Therefore he is able to save to the uttermost all who put 
their trust in him. He will accept of their sincere, but 
erring service, for he is not an High Priest who cannot be 
touched with a feeling of their infirmities, for he was in 
all points tempted like as they are, but yet without sin. 
By so much was Jesus made a surety of a better cove- 
nant, that we might have strong consolation who have 
fled for refuge to lay hold upon the hope set before us, 
** which hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure 
and steadfast, and which entereth into that within the vail, 
whither the forerunner is for us entered, even Jesus 
made a High Priest for ever." 

But why do I quote from the Epistles ? They are dis- 
carded, although our Savior prayed to his Father for all those 
who should believe on him through the apostles' word. Am 
I one of his followers, and shall I not own my Lord, and seek 
to promote his cause ? Ought I not, by all means in my 
power, to enforce the truths I believe on the minds of those 
who are most dear to me ? Am I not in duty, as well as 
in affection, bound to do it ? And can I deliver my own 
7 



A- 



74 MEMOIR OP MRS. TAPPAN. 

soul if I am silent ? That I have not spoken earlier has 
been owing to a belief that they were seeking the truth, 
and a confidence that if they were sincere it would be re- 
vealed to them. For this I have not ceased to pray, and 
while praying breath remains I trust I shall not. * * * 

If you hear only one side, and give implicit credence 
to that, how can you find the truth ? I wish you would 
read the second and third volumes of D wight's Theology, 
with the Scriptures. I think your views of some texts 
must be changed ; and also read the Epistles in general. 

I have written under a constant sense of my own ig- 
norance, and hope I have not been permitted to darken 
counsel by words without knowledge. 

I think I cannot conclude in a better way than with a 
text of Scripture. Saith our Savior, " The words that 
I speak unto you, I speak not of myself; but the Father, 
that dwelleth in me, he doeth the works. Believe me that 
I am in the Father, and the Father in me ; or else believe 
me for the very works' sakeJ' John xiv. 10, 11. If God 
dwelleth in him was he not God ? Again he saith> 
*^ Whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, 
that the Father may be glorifed in the Son J' John xiv, 
13. That you, dear L., and all my other children, may 
be included among those is the fervent prayer of your 
affectionate mother. 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 75 

To L. T. 

May, 1820. 

I cannot give you up yet. I had thought never more 
to trouble you on the subject of opinions * * * but the 
more I become acquainted v^^ith the divine truths of the 
Bible, and experience their consolations and supports in 
my own soul, the more firmly I am established in the be- 
lief of the doctrines of grace, and dissatisfied with those 
you have embraced. Most earnestly do I recommend to 
you the diligent study of the whole Bible, for without 
comparing the New with the Old Testament we cannot 
understand the truths which it contains. When we are 
told that Apollos was mighty in the Scriptures, and that 
the noble Bereans searched them daily, that the study of 
them is able to make us wise unto salvation, the Old Tes- 
tament was meant, for then there was no other written. 

I will offer you a few texts,* selected from many others 
that are scattered through the Bible, from Genesis to Rev- 
elations, all which I think clearly prove a plurality in the 
Godhead, and which, if you understand them as I do, will 
convince you that I neither rob God of his glory, nor depre- 
ciate the Redeemer, but that I as fully believe in one 
only living and true God as you do. And as He has been 
graciously pleased to reveal himself in his holy word as 
God the Father, God the Savior, God the Holy Spirit, I 
am not to reason on the nature of God, (for who, by 
searching, can find him out?) but humbly to believe what 
He has revealed, and rely upon his gracious promises, that 

* The letter was accompanied with selections of proof texts. 



76 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

in SO doing I shall be saved. It is in this divine union, 
displayed in the glorious vi^ork of redemption, that exalts 
the Savior, and makes him appear chief among ten thou- 
sand, and altogether lovely. In him God is reconciling 
the world unto himself 2 Cor. v. 19. For the sake of his 
perfect obedience and atonement, the promises to the poor, 
meek, and imperfect believer are that this almighty 
strength shall be made perfect in his weakness, and grace 
at all timesafforded sufficient for all his needs. And it 
is added, '*Be thou faithful unto death, and I will give 
thee a crown of life." 

With all this encouragement shall we not by faith and 
prayer strive to become his in spirit and truth, not resting 
satisfied with past attainments, but pressing forward with 
renewed ardor, until we be made perfect, for it is God 
that w^orketh in us both to will and to do. O ! what a 
foundation have we to build upon — Christ Jesus, our God 
manifest in the flesh, our chief corner stone. Shall we 
not, believing in him, be able to say with the apostle, 
" through Christ Jesus strengthening me I can do all 
things ?'* Shall we not be drawn oflf from self-depen- 
dence, all trust in our own righteousness, and view it as a 
covering too narrow, too short, to hide us from the wrath 
of the just and holy God ? O, what a mercy do I consi- 
der it that we are not without a better hope than any 
thing in ourselves can furnish. Standing as I do on the 
brink of the eternal world, daily expecting to be called 
before my Maker and my Judge, what a rich mercy do I 
esteem it that I have been made acquainted with the 
great mystery of Godliness, God manifest in the fl^sh, a 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 77 

mystery which angels delight to look into, but they can 
never raise their notes so high as man in singing redeem- 
ing love. These things are hid from the w^ise and pru- 
dent, but are often revealed to those who have no learn- 
ing in any science, but the knowledge of Christ Jesus as 
the atoning, Almighty Savior, of fallen and guilty, helpless 
man, revealed to babes. How often has this text revived 
my drooping spirits. Yes, I am one of that class, and I 
trust that he in whom I believe has enlightened my mind 
to believe the truth as it is revealed in his word, and that 
by the divine influences of his Holy Spirit. This gospel, 
dear L. is a salvation appointed for those who are ready to 
perish, who have no hope nor strength in themselves, and 
is not designed to put them in a way to save themselves 
by their own works. It speaks to us as condemned 
already, and calls upon us to believe in a crucified Savior 
that we may receive redemption through his blood, even 
the forgiveness of sins ; and the Spirit of God, by the 
gospePs first convincing us of sin and misery, and then 
by removing our unbelief, and revealing the things of Jesus 
to our mind, enables us to come to Christ as helpless 
sinners, to believe in him, and expect pardon, life and 
grace from him ; free unmerited grace. 

Thus enlightened by the Holy Spirit he sees faith to 
be very different from a rational assent ; he finds that noth- 
ing but the power of God can produce a well grounded 
hope in his heart, and therefore looks to Jesus, who is the 
author and Unisher of faith, to enable him to believe. 
For this he waits in what are called the means of grace. 
He reads the word with prayerful attention ; in prayer he 



78 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

pleads the promises, such as, " Him that cometh to me^ I 
will in no wise cast out^^ — John vi. 37. " Whosoevtr 
will^ let him take the water of life freely, ^^ — Rev. 
xxii. 17. " Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the 
wafers, and he that hath no money ; come ye, huy and eat ; 
yea, come, huy wine and milk without money and without 
price J^ Is. Iv. 1. 

Can any be so mad as to say, of all this wonderful 
grace revealed to us in God's word, it is above my com- 
prehension; reason contradicts it; I neither can nor wiU 
believe it. Of such I can only say, Oh ! that they were 
wise, that they understood this, that they would consider 
their latter end. Of you, dear L., I am not without hope 
that you are still seeking the truth. He most assuredly 
will guide you to the attainment of it, for he does not say 
to the sons of men, seek ye me in vain. We must feel 
ourselves sick before we can prize the great physician, 
and feel a sentence of death in ourselves before we can 
effectually trust in God to give us life. 

You may be assured that whoever makes the founda- 
tion stope a rock of offence cannot be a sincere inquirer ; 
indeed I have such a low opinion of man, in his depraved 
state, that I believe no one has real sincerity, in religious 
matters, till God bestows it. Man, with all his wisdom, 
reason and talents, is still but what the apostle calls the 
natural man, till the power of God visits his heart, and 
effects that saving change which is called the new birth. 
All that is good or gracious is the effect of a new creation, 
a supernatural principle wrought in the heart by the 
gospel of Christ, and the agency of his Spirit; and until 



MEMOIR OP MRS. TAPPAN*. 79 

that is effected all that he is, or does, which either exalts 
him in his own eyes, or in the opinion of others, is but 
abomination in the sight of God. " And he said unto 
them, ye are they which justify yourselves before men ; hut 
God hnoweth your hearts : for that which is highly 
esteemed among men is abomination in the sight of God J' 
Luke xvi. 15. 

Ah ! dear L., when you are brought to estimate your* 
disobedience, by comparing it with such a sense of the 
majesty, holiness and authority of God, and the spiritua- 
lity, extent and sanction of his holy law, as He, and He 
only, can give and impress upon the heart of a sinner, 
you will be convinced that nothing but the blood of the 
Son of God can atone for the smallest instance of disobe- 
dience. That you may be convinced, and converted also, is 
not only my ardent prayer, but motive for writing ; relying 
upon that Almighty Power which is pleased to work by 
means the wisdom of man thinks little of, and committing 
both this, and you, to his all-wise disposal, I remain your 
affectionate mother. 

P. S. You have often remarked that I appeared to 
you to live in a constant dread of divine wrath, and when 
I have replied, not so, but that it was sin that was my 
burden, then you have said, you should suppose I had 
committed some dreadful evil. How I appear to others 
I know not, but I certainly have much cause to be thank- 
ful that my heart is known only to God, and that in infi- 
nite love he has provided a complete righteousness, 
wrought out by the atonement which Christ Jesus has 
made for sin. In this I have great consolation and peace 



80 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

of conscience, but the more I have received the more I 
must mourn over my vile ingratitude. 

Ah ! dear L., if God should see fit to show you the 
evil which lurks, now unperceived, in your heart, you 
would soon see your need of an Almighty Savior, and fully 
subscribe to the doctrine of total depravity. And can I 
cease to mourn over dear children who are rich, and satis- 
fied that they are in want of nothing, when I believe them 
to be poor, and needy, blind and naked, and know how 
uncertain life is ? My heart's desire, and prayer to God is, 
that they may be saved ; and with these views that I have 
of the way of salvation I neither can nor dare be silent 

* * * Now I have done, I think, and never mean to 
disturb you again. If you are not convinced, but are 
determined to hold fast your opinions, I wish not to know 
it, at least not from yourself I know assuredly that the 
Judge of all will do right, and what am I or mine, that for 
ourselves, his honor and glory should be tarnished ] Rather 
let me say, here am I, Lord, and the children thou hast 
given me ; thou art the potter, we are the clay, thou hast 
a sovereign right to dispose of us as in infinite wisdom 
thou seest fit ; thou hast made rich provision for all who 
will receive it, and hast freely offered it without money 
and without price. If, after all, we will refuse we must 
abide the consequences ; and all the redeemed will unite 
in ascribing glory, honor, and power to Him that sitteth 
on the throne, and to the Lamb forever and ever, at the 

last decisive day. 

But while we are on earth we must feel for our dear 

friends, and painfully too a separation from them. Oh ! that 



MEMOIR OP MRS. TAPPAN. 81 

word forever. I must lay aside my pen. * =^ * Again I 
resume it to offer a tribute of praise for redeeming love, 
and that, notwithstanding all our unbelief, we are prison- 
ers of hope. For this cause I bow my knees unto the 
Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, that he would grant you, 
according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened 
with might by his spirit in the inner man, that Christ may 
dwell in your heart by faith, that ye being rooted and 
grounded in love may be able to comprehend, with all 
saints, what is the breadth and length, and depth and 
height, of that love of Christ which passeth knowledge ; 
that ye may be filled with all the fulness of God, who is 
able to do above all that we ask or think, according to the 
power that worketh in us. 

To W. E. and R. E. 

My Dear Children, — Your parent's heart bleeds for 
you at every pore, and fain would she offer you some con- 
solation. Remember it is God that exalteth one, and 
layeth another low. You have been peculiarly disappoint- 
ed in your earthly prospects. Had it been best for you 
it would undoubtedly have been ordered otherwise. 
Infinite wisdom cannot err. God does not willingly 
afflict, nor grieve the children of men, but chastises them 
for their profit. 

Sanctified afflictions are great mercies. Whom the 
Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom 
he receiveth. May you be enabled to go to the throne of 
grace, and cast all your cares upon Him who was a man 



83 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

of sorrows, and acquainted with grief. He stands with 
open arms, ready to receive every humble penitent, who 
sincerely puts his trust in him, and never sends the hungry 
soul empty away. 

Our real wants are but few, and our time is short. 
The past cannot be recalled, and grief, though natural, 
is unavailing. Therefore let it be your care to improve 
the present moment, and to lay up treasures that never 
will decay. They will support you in every trying scene, 
scatter darkness from the valley of death, and lead you 
triumphant to glory. 

I shall enclose a letter from E. It expresses what 
more I would wish to say in language far more soothing 
than I can use. * * * 

With sincere affection, I remain your mother,. 

S. Tappan. 



To R. E. 

Northampton, October 4, 1815. 
Dear R. — We received yours of the 28th, and are 
happy that two of your children are so well provided for. 
We hope you will never distrust that providence, by which 
you are so wonderfully supported. It appears to me that 
your afflictions, as they more immediately respect your- 
selves, are great mercies, for has not the drying up of the 
streams drawn you nearer to the fountain of all good ? 
And do you not find rich treasures there which, in the 
days of your prosperity, you thought little of? If it be so 
you will kiss the rod, and bless the hand that hath ap« 
pointed it, 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 83 

It is grievous to bring so much sorrow upon others, 
but you have this consolation, I trust, that your intentions 
were upright. * * We are such short-sighted creatures 
that we are unfit to choose for ourselves, and therefore we 
ought to be resigned when affairs go contrary to our 
wishes. 

I think you have much reason to be thankful that there 
is such a pious instructor so near you. You are not 
wholly shut out from the worship of God in public. The 
last Sabbath was our communion. I hope you will be 
able to attend upon this ordinance somewhere. I thought 
much of you, and sighed to think of the past, and view 
your seat empty. * * * * ^ 

I remain your affectionate mother, 

Sarah Tappan. 



To R. E. 

It would have added very much to the pleasant visits 
we have had from your sons could you have accompanied 
them, * * We however hope to see, and enjoy your so- 
ciety, under better circumstances. You have had your 
day of adversity. We hope you have been able to make a 
sanctified improvement of the dispensations of providence, 
and that you, and your dear husband, will be enabled, as 
well as disposed, to repair the severe losses which have 
been sustained, both by yourselves and friends. As it 
was with Job, may your latter days be better than your 
beginning. 



84 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

But the world is so full of changes that you must not 
allow yourselves to be too sanguine, but in the use of all 
lawful means cast all your cares upon God. All hearts 
are in his hands, and all means at his disposal. Without 
his blessing nothing can prosper, however for a time it 
may seem to prosper, yet it will be bitterness in the end. 
If you have an interest in Christ there is a sure promise 
that all things shall work together for your good ; and I 
can assure you that if you are continued in life to the age 
of three-score and ten the things of time and sense will 
not appear of so much consequence as they now do. 

It will be worth more to look back on a life devoted 
to God, and spent in his service, than all the riches of the 
east, notwithstanding we have to lament great imperfection 
and short coming in duty. There is more weight, than 
most people imagine, in that text of Scripture, '* For what 
shall it profit a man, if he gain the whole world, and lose 
his own soul ?" 

You have been greatly favored in being situated in C. 
Your privileges have been great, and I have no doubt they 
have been justly appreciated by you. I could wish you 
were not under a necessity to leave them, but we must go 
where duty calls. I hope you will find that religion af- 
fords rich consolation in all your changes. You have 
much cause for thankfulness, as well as your parents, that 
God has given you children of such fair promise. We 
pray that you may realize all your fondest expectations 
from them. * * * I hope they will not only be pillars of 
the state, but of the church, and members of the church 
triumphant in the realms above. * * * What a trial not 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 85 

to be able to be with E. * * I must submit, and so must 
she, believing she is in good hands, both for time and 
eternity. I can, I trust, say, ''thy will be done." With 
love to you all I remain your affectionate mother, 

S. Tappan. 



To A. T. 

June, 1807. 
My Dear Son — I cannot feel willing you should leave 
me without saying more to you than I have ; and, as I have 
not the opportunity to speak, I think best to write. Your 
happiness, as that of all my children, lies near my heart. 
I would not, on any account, give them unnecessary pain. 
It is your happiness I seek, and fain would I assist you in 
building it on a sure foundation. ^^ Other foundation can 
no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ J' 
1 Cor. iii. 11. Build on Christ Jesus, as the chief corner 
stone. 

I fear you have imbibed some errors, from what you 
dropped last night respecting the new birth. There are 
many loose writers, and it is to be feared, unsound preach- 
ers, in our day. But the word of God is plain. He that 
runneth may read. Study it attentively, with sincere and 
fervent prayer for the out-pouring of the Holy Spirit to 
enlighten your darkened understanding, and make your 
path of duty plain. God is a prayer hearing God. He 
has not said to the seed of Jacob, seek my face in vain. 
The Bible is full of encouragement to those who diligently 
seek for true wisdom, and assures us that all her paths 

8 



OO MEMOIR OP MRS. TAPPAN. 

ere peace, and her ways pleasant ; and, from forty years' 
experience, I can subscribe to the truth of it. 

O taste and see that the Lord is gracious, full of com- 
passion, not willing that any should perish. Hear Him 
say in his word, turn ye, for why will ye die ? Seek, and 
ye shall find ; knock, and it shall be opened unto you ; 
whosoever will, let him come, and take of the waters of 
life freely, without money and without price. Believe, and 
take the promised rest. Pray for an entire change of heart 
and pursuits ; that you may love God supremely, and 
place your chief happiness in obeying his precepts. Hate 
sin sincerely, and strive constantly to overcome every evil 
propensity ; and this, not in your own strength, but relying 
on promised assistance from Him who hath said, my 
strength shall be made perfect in your weakness, and my 
grace is at all times sufficient for you. We have abun- 
dant reason to believe that, if we are sincere in seeking 
for mercy, we shall have God on our side. If God was 
not more willing to save us than we are to be saved, he 
never would have given up his Son a ransom for sinners, 
nor informed us of it in his word, nor sent the Holy 
Spirit to convince us of sin, and urge us to repentance. 

From my own experience I firmly believe the Calvin- 
istic doctrines to be scriptural. I would not willingly 
consent to abrogate one of them. I love to acknowledge 
myself nothing, that God may be all. I feel that I am 
depraved in the whole man ; that in me naturally there is 
no good ; that all my sufficiency is of God ; and it is my 
happiness that I may go to him as a guilty, weak and 
helpless creature, and cast all my cares upon him. He 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 87 

has promised never to leave nor forsake me, and I can 
trust his word. It is this comfort, my dear child, I wish 
you to enjoy. It is what the world can neither give, nor 
deprive us of O, seek first the kingdom of God, and all 
other things shall be added unto you. That is, you shall 
be fully satisfied with the allotments of Providence ; and 
how can it be otherwise, if you believe the promise, that 
all things shall work together for good to them who put 
their trust in him. Therefore in all your ways acknowl- 
edge him, and he will direct your paths ; trust not to your 
own understanding ; it will deceive you. * =^ * That you 
may be made to see your lost, undone estate, by nature 
and practice, and directed to rely wholly on the merits of 
a glorious Savior ; that you may be filled with the divine 
influences of the Holy Spirit, ' sanctifying and purifying 
your nature, and live to the glory of God, is the sincerQ 
prayer of your affection ate mother, 

Sarah Tafpan. 



ToL. T. 

December 15, 1813. 

1 had rather never hear from you than that 

your morning devotions should be either abridged or 
omitted. Omitted ! did I say? O never may you be left 
to deprive yourself of so inestimable a privilege. Believe 
me, I speak from experience, you will first lose your peace 
of conscience, and then the great adversary of mankind 
will be permitted to make dreadful havoc of all your other 
comforts. If I had nothing in view but my earthly com^ 



88 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

fort, I would sooner give up my visiting, dress, and even 
food, than deprive myself of this source of enjoyment. 

What can be compared with this, that fallen, depraved 
creatures are admitted to hold near and intimate commu- 
nion with Deity, to pour out all our complaints before him, 
to present all our petitions to him, assured that our divine 
Redeemer is ever before the throne, pleading his merits 
in behalf of all who trust in his perfect righteousness. 
And what surer foundation can we have, who in our- 
selves are altogether sinners, without one good action or 
work to recommend us, or on which we can lean for sup- 
port in the great day of account? 

I am sure that it is from my own woful experience, 
and not the writings of others, that I advocate the doctrine 
of total depravity, for in nie there surely dwelleth no good 
thing, and it is wholly of grace, free grace, that I am able 
to perform one acceptable deed. Your cares and duties 
are many, and they will increase as you advance in life, 
for years yet to come. You must cast all your cares upon 
God, who never sends the sincere humble petitioner empty 
away. You must seek for wisdom to direct, patience to 
bear, prudence to forbear, and strength to overcome all 
difficulties. In so doing you will find no more laid upon 
you than you will be enabled to surmount. You have the 
sure word of promise that strength shall be equal to your 
day — only be faithful to God and your own soul, you need 
fear no ill. Your children shall rise up and call you 
blessed, and be the future props of your declining years. 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN, 89 

To A. T. 

March, 1816. 

My Dear A. — Although I am a miserable writer, and 
worse speller, I do not feel willing to miss so good an op- 
portunity to tell you how much interest I take in all your 
concerns. It grieves me exceedingly that your dear wife 
has suffered so severely, and that she is obliged to relin- 
quish the delightful employment of nursing her infant. 
Sweet babe, it is very trying — but you have a good nurse, 
you say, and doubtless you are satisfied as to her habits 
and health, and have her under your own eye. I pray 
God that the infant may be preserved, and that its mother's 
health may soon be restored. May you long live to be 
help-mates to each other, and unite in bringing up your 
dear children for God. I rejoice that you are both sensi- 
ble of the important trust committed to you, and of your 
responsibility. The best advice I can give you is to put 
your trust in God. Seek diligently to Him for direction, 
and you will find that promise sure, '' If any of you lack 
wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, 
and uphraideth not; and it shall he given him J' — James 
i. 5. 

I am now with dear R. God, in his all- wise provi- 
dence, has seen fit to suffer great distress to fall upon 
them, but we have cause to hope afflictions have been 
sanctified to them both. They are humble, but not in 
despair. They have been wonderfully supported under all 
their trials, and instead of sinking have made great exer- 
tions to live. * * * * She is cheerful, and summons all 



90 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAK. 

her resolution to cheer her husband, and keep up his spi- 
rits ; but they must part, and the trial will be severe. 
When at prayer, with his family, this morning, he mention- 
ed it, he was greatly aifected. Do you never wonder, my 
d^ar children, what supports those who have no God to go 
to when troubles come in like a flood, and they sink iij 
deep mire? Wretched indeed are all such. Let those of 
us who are sensible of the worth of the support of an Al- 
mighty arm, put away from us every sin, and devote all 
that we are, and have, to that God who has thus distin- 
guished us from others, as good by nature as we, and per- 
haps better by practice, according to the light they enjoy. 
It is cause of much thankfulness to us that God has 
blessed me with such children, that, with the increase of 
wealth, their desire to honor him with their substance has 
also increased ; that their liberality to their parents has 
been abundantly manifest. May your children reward 
you an hundred fold. I embrace the dear little treasures 
affectionately, and assure you of my most affectionate 
regards. That you may be blessed in all your goings out 
and comings in, is the sincere prayer of your mother, 

Sarah Tappan. 

To R. E. 

Northampton, March 29, 1816'. 

Dear R. — -I rejoice with you that your husband has 

returned so soon, and that your babe is spared, when you 

had almost lost all hope of its living. In your feeble state 

you must have suffered much. * * * I hope your health, 



' 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 91 

and that of the infant, are confirmed by this time, and that 
you will have a peaceful, pleasant summer, and that a kind 
Providence will point out some way for your husband's ta- 
lents to be improved to the best advantage. In the mean 
time, and at all times, put your trust in God, and he will 
provide. Live near the fountain. Nothing can give you 
such support. Friends may advise us to keep up good 
courage, but what can poor, feeble, erring, mortals do, of 
themselves, to support the sinking mind? Alas, their 
strength is weakness, their wisdom is folly. It is a great 
mercy to be made sensible of it, and of our entire depend- 
ence upon God. If He is our friend, what need we fear 
what man can do unto us. We have his sure promise 
that all things shall work for our good, and it is only if 
need he that we are in heaviness. 

Hitherto you have had much cause to adore and praise 
your almighty Benefactor. Your mercies have been fresh 
every morning, and new every evening. You have been 
wonderfully supported and carried through trials that, at a 
distance, appeared like mountains. The very apprehen- 
sion of them almost overwhelmed you, but God was your 
helper. O then, trust in him ; '^ He only is your rock and 
your salvation." Blessed be his name for ever, for he hath 
not dealt with us after our sins, nor rewarded us according 
to our iniquities, for he knoweth our frame, he remem- 
bereth that we are dust. 

It is with joy I inform you that Northampton is also 
visited with the outpouring of divine influences. How ex- 
tensive, I am not able to say, but we hope it is increasing. 
1 had written thus far when I received yours by 



92 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

Mr. S. And is your husband gone ? I sincerely hope he 
will succeed. If we can no longer live in the same place 
we must be resigned. It is what we have much enjoyed, 
and probably if you had not left me we should have soon 
parted. We must pray earnestly that we may so live as to 
spend a happy eternity together. O, that is all that is 
worth living for. May its importance be deeply impressed 
on our hearts — is the sincere prayer of your affectionate 
mother, Sarah Tappan. 



To Mrs. E. P.* 

(Written during the winter of 1818, at Northampton.) 
Dear Eliza — Your letter rather points out to me what 
I ought to be, than what I am ; and I hope to profit by it. 
The path which you have marked out is undoubtedly the 
only one that insures peace here, or happiness hereafter ; 
and though convinced of it how woefully prone are we to 
wander from known duty, and to forsake our own mercies. 
If we were not upheld by an Almighty arm how soon 
should we destroy ourselves. To be kept by the Almighty 
power of God is indeed an unspeakable mercy, although a 
very common one ; but to be enabled to trust in and com- 
mit all our concerns into his hands, and rest satisfied with 
all the dispensations of Providence, however contrary to 
our wishes, is a height which few reach, but which all 

* This is the only letter that has been found, written to her daugh- 
ter Elizabeth. It is probable she wrote many to this beloved child, and 
that after her decease at her house she destroyed them. 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 93 

may attain. That we may possess this treasure let us give 
ourselves unto prayer. The apostle says, '^ Pray without 
ceasing. In every thing give thanks.^' 1 Thess. v. 17, 18. 

There has been, and we hope still is, a revival of reli- 
gion in this town. It began in the school, at the farther 
end of South-street, kept by a Mr. Hamblin, from Ando- 
ver. It has an influence in other parts of the town. Con- 
ference meetings are held almost every night, not only in 
South-street, but on the Plain, the Hill, and in this street. 
A spirit of prayer seems to be poured out, and many are 
inquiring, What shall we do to he saved? ^ ^ ^ Our 
dear S. has been in great distress, so that she could neither 
eat, nor sleep, for anguish of spirit ; but it has pleased God 
to remove her distress, I hope, in the happiest manner. 
One morning, which succeeded a day of deep contrition, 
she came to me and said, " O grandmamma, I think I can 
give myself up to God, and accept of Jesus Christ as my 
only Savior. I think I could praise God for what he has 
done for sinners, although I should never share in the 
mercy. I hope I am not deceived, but as soon as, on my 
knees last night, I felt this resignation to be disposed of as 
God saw fit, my distress left me, and I lay awake, almost 
through the night, praising God.'^ 

This was about a fortnight ago, and she has ever since 
appeared solemn, but serene and happy. She loves to at- 
tend conference meetings, and read the Bible. By my 
advice she has written to her parents, and described her 
feelings from first to last. She seems to have a clear view 
of the doctrines of grace, and acknowledges herself in- 
debted to Miss S. for the culture of her mind. When you 



94 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

write to this friend do thank her, in my name, and S.'s, to 
encourage her to continue to scatter the good seed. 

Last evening there was a conference meeting at the 
school house, near the Jail, for the first time. Mr. A.* is 
thought to be in a consumption. He has been greatly 
concerned for his future state, and has been visited by Mr. 
Keep, and Mr. Gould, as well as by Mr. Williams. They 
all found him humble and teachable, willing to give up all 
dependence on himself He has now a comfortable hope, 
I am told. May it rest on a sure foundation ; and may 
this, and other recent providences, excite all of that class 
particularly to attend to the all-important concerns of their 
souls. 

There are some other hopeful appearances. Major D.t 
has been active in seeking a suitable place in that street 
for the people to meet in, the school house not being large 
enough. Dr. S.'s store is thought of O, if a change in 
favor of religion should become universal here, especially 
in the higher walks of life, what a delightful scene would 
it afford. Then I could indeed rejoice that you had re- 
turned to unite with your friends here in praising God for 
a new and most wonderful display of his power and good- 
ness. Not but that I now rejoice in your present pros- 
pects, and hope you will long realize the happy result. It 
is my daily prayer that you may be enabled to cast all your 

I * Hon. Eli P. Ashman, of Northampton, Mass., en eminent lawyer 
and statesman, who died, in the meridian of life, in hope of a blessed 
immortality. 

t JosiAH DwiGHT, Esq. of Northampton, Mass., who had been Trea- 
surer of the State, and died a firm behever in the Gospel of the blessed 
God his Savior, and in hope of its precious rewards. 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 95 

care upon God, and that you may be directed by infinite 
wisdom in every step you take. The present is certainly 
a most important crisis with you, and your future happi- 
ness much depends on the manner in which you act ; but 
we have the sure promise, if we ask we shall have wisdom 
given us. ***** * Louisa S. is very low. * * * I 
do not know that religion has been in all her thoughts. 
Mary W. has visited her. Fanny W. has been quite un- 
well, before and since the fire, but is better. You will 
doubtless hear that her father's house* had well nigh 
been laid in ashes last week, but by the special interposi- 
tion of Providence, it was preserved without much loss. 

I have been somewhat unwell, with a cold and cough, 
which have kept me from meeting two Sabbaths, but am 
now pretty well. Your father has also a cold upon him, 
but he does not feel sick enough to stay at home. Except 
this we have been very w^ell through the winter so far, and 
the weather has been uMcommonly pleasant. Julia A. has 
been at L.'s this winter, under Dr. Jackson's care. She 
is now better. Augustus has gone to the south, in the pur- 
suit of health. His poor fathert must be solitary indeed. 
I trust that he has better consolations than the world af- 
fords. O that we may all have, prays your S. T. 

*The Parsonage. 

t William Aspinavall, M. D. of Brookline, Mass., who died April 
16, 1823, in his 80th year, in the peace of one, who had long possessed 
the religion of Jesus Christ. 



96 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 



To S. T. P. 

Northampton, September 18, 1820- 

Dear S. — I thank you for your affectionate letter, but 
more for the preference you give to a residence with me. 
Perhaps you might have been more respected there, but 
you could not have been better beloved. I shall always 
rejoice to have you with me, and you need not wait for 
A.'s return, for I can have you both. * * ^ =^ 

You doubtless miss the privileges you enjoyed here, 
but I trust that you find these words verified, God is not 
confined to means, although he chooses to work by them. 
To him that believes, Christ is precious. To do all for 
him, to receive all from him, and to find all in him, is the 
one thing needful. This is the life of faith, in the myste- 
ries of redeeming love, a faith which is the substance of 
things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen ; which 
hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and 
steadfast. 

Seeing then that we have a great High Priest that is 
passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold 
fast our profession, let us come boldly to the throne of 
grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help, in 
time of need. O, what a privilege is prayer. How are 
we, poor sinners, exalted by this near and sweet inter- 
course with heaven ; and yet what various hindrances do 
we meet, in coming to the mercy seat, from the corrupt 
fountain of our depraved nature. Let others boast of the 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 97 

dignity of man, of the good which is inherent in him, be 
mine the part to lie low at the foot of sovereign mercy, 
and confess that in me dwelleth rfo good thing by nature. 
All is depravity. *'0, to grace how great a debtor." It 
is that by which I am brought to know how vile I am. It 
is that which enables me to look up to God for mercy, with 
humble dependence upon the perfect righteousness of the 
all-atoning sacrifice which he has appointed in Christ. 

We must strive to enter in at the straight gate, but 
blessed be God, who has promised that strength shall be 
equal to our day, his grace is at all times sufficient for us. 
O, then let us run and not be weary, pray and not faint, 
since it is Christ Jesus that works in us both to will and 
to do, and who will most assuredly give the free reward. 
Surely we need no other motive than the love of Christ 
Jesus, manifested to us in his death and sufferings, to ex- 
cite us to labor with all our might to keep his command- 
ments. Cannot we say with Peter, "Lord, thou knowest 
all things, thou knowest that I love thee." Let us evi- 
dence, by our holy and faithful lives, that it is our hearts' 
desire to live to his glory. 

A little grace, though small as mustard seed, is worth 
a thousand worlds. Nor should the grief, arising from 
what we know of our own hearts, rob us of the comfort 
that the word of God yields in what is there recorded of 
the person, offices and grace of Jesus, and the relations he 
is pleased to stand in to his people. '^ The Lord is my 
Shepherd ; I shall not want. ^^ Psalms\xiii, 1. '^ For thy 
Maker is thy husband ; the Lord of hosts is his name ; 
and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel ; the God of the 

9 



98 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

whole earth shall he he called J^ Isa. liv, 5. ^^ Henceforth 
I call you not servants ; for the servant knoweth not iohat 
his Lord doeth : but I have called you friends ; for all 
things that I have heard of my Father I have made known 
unto you.^' John xv, 15. ^^ My little children, these things 
write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if tiny man sin, 
we have an advocate with the Father ^ Jesus Christ the 
righteousJ^ 1 John ii, 1. ^'Behold, the days come, saith 
the Lord, that Twill raise unto David a righteous branch, 
and a king shall reign and prosper, and shall execute judg- 
ment and justice in the earthJ^ Jer. xxiii, 5, ^' But of 
him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us 
wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctifi cation, and redemp- 
tion.'' 1 Cor. i, 30. 

The love of Christ is the wonder, the joy, the song of 
angels, but their notes can never raise so high as ours in 
singing redeeming love. Well might the apostle, speak- 
ing of the height, depth, length and breadth of the love of 
God to sinners, be at a loss for words to express the full- 
ness of his heart. It is a theme which saints will de- 
light to contemplate through eternity. It is the food of 
their souls in this wilderness below. He owns their worth- 
less names, calls them his mother, and his brethren, and 
assures them " to him that overcometh will I grant to sit 
with me on my throne, even as I also overcame and am 
set down with my Father on his throne." * * * * 
Your affectionate grandmother. 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. UU 

ToE. P. 

October 14, 1820. 
Dear E. — I have strong hopes, the many religious 
advantages you have enjoyed have not been lost upon you, 
but that you have not only joined Christ's visible church, 
but have resigned yourself up to him as your righteous- 
ness and strength, and depending upon the divine influ- 
ences of the Holy Spirit, have resolved to be w^holly 
devoted to him, as your God and Savior, desiring to be 
found walking in all his commandments, for Christ has 
given that as an evidence of our love to him. And I hope 
that, from svi^eet experience, you can say, all his vt^ays are 
pleasantness, and all his paths are peace. It is a great 
cause for gratitude that you may at all seasons dravtr near 
to God in prayer, and that your Advocate on high is, 
although clothed in flesh, one with God, mighty to save, 
having all power in heaven and on earth. Happy they 
who can realize the divine presence always with them; 
but this is obtained only by faith and prayer. To these 
the promises are made. *' Believe on the Lord Jesus 
Christ, and thou shalt be saved" — *^ Seek and thou shalt 
find." O then, dear child, pray earnestly for faith. Study 
the word of God diligently. Pray over it — for without the 
guidance of the Holy Spirit, it will be a sealed book unto 
you. We cannot, by our own wisdom, comprehend its 
truths, but if God is pleased to reveal to you his will, he 
will also enable you to rejoice in the gospel plan of salva- 
tion, by Jesus Christ, and you will realize the preciousness 
of a Savior, such as is there provided for all who will 



100 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

accept of hirn, on those terms. Is his righteousness 
precious to you 1 Are you willing to give up all your 
own as filthy rags ? Are you convinced there is no merit 
in any thing which you ever did, or can do— that sin 
cleaves to all, and if ever you are saved, it must be all of 
grace, free unmerited grace? You may then go on be- 
lieving and rejoicing. I can, from experience, assure you 
the promises are sure. Strength shall be equal to your 
day. The Almighty arm shall be your support, and 
although sin will dwell in you, so long as you remain in 
this vale of tears, it shall not reign over you, but you will 
rejoice, with trembling, knowing that your warfare is 
just begun. Without, you will find many snares, within, a 
depraved heart, excited to sin by a busy enemy, constantly 
going about seeking whom he may devour. We not only 
need put on the whole armor of God, but we must keep it 
bright, by watching and prayer. Our Savior says, '^ What 
I say unto you I say unto all. Watch ;'' and for our com- 
fort adds, '^ Lo, I am with you always, even unto the end 
of the world.'' 

The Captain of our salvation is mighty to save, and 
will most assuredly keep that we commit to him, nor shall 
Satan be able to pluck it out of his hands. Therefore be 
not dismayed. There are more for us than against us — 
the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty 
through him who hath said, " My grace is sufficient for 
thee, my strength shall be made perfect in thy weakness." 
And whatever he said to his disciples, while here on earth, 
he said to all his sincere followers to the end of time — and 
when he prayed for his disciples he kindly and conde- 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 101 

scendingly added, " Neither pray I for these alone, but for 
all them that shall believe on me through their word ; and 
he that believeth in me hath everlasting life." In that 
word the perseverance of the saints is secured. The 
word is full of encouragement to believers. 

O may you never forsake the fountain, in pursuit of 
the streams— bitter remorse must follow ; and if you are 
sanctified painful doubts will fill your mind with regard to 
your sincerity. i\n even, close walk with God, is not only 
your duty, but your privilege. O then live a life of watch- 
fulness and prayer. Such passages as that in the 8th of 
Romans, ** Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities'' 
&/C. will greatly encourage and assist us. And O, let 
piety mingle with your prayers for those who know not the 
way of salvation, by Jesus Christ, that they also may be 
brought into his fold ; and may a grateful remembrance of 
what God has done for you draw out your most sincere 
praises to the Lord, who has enlightened your dark under- 
standing, subdued that natural enmity which sinners all 
feel against his government and grace, and has given you 
a hope of glory, and enabled you to put your trust in him, 
and granted you a measure of stability in the midst of a 
changing world. I would recommend to you, as your 
guide, the Pilgrim's Progress, with Notes, not by any means 
preferable to the Bible, but as useful to illustrate it. 

That you may long rejoice the hearts of your dear 
parents, and by uniting in the love of God your Savior 
and of one another, you may strengthen each other, and 
grow in grace, and persevere therein .to the end, is the 
sincere prayer of her who rejoices that so many of her 
9* 



102 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

dear grandchildren have been enabled to give such good 
evidence of their being born again. That you may all be 
kept steadfast in the faith, is the fervent prayer of your 
affectionate grandmother, Sarah Tappan. 



ToL. P. 

December 2, 1820. 

How often have I said in my heart, and I believe 
sometimes with my lips, that I could willingly have all my 
children stript of every thing the world calls great and 
good, if I might but be permitted to entertain the hope 
that they were heirs of eternal life. It appears to me 
that there is nothing short of that worth living for. That 
is indeed the chief end of man. Surely I may be allowed 
to judge of the worth of the world after living in it so 
long, and enjoying so many, and so oft, of its sweet ingre- 
dients, among which I esteem dutiful, kind, affectionate 
children as the greatest of all my temporal mercies, and 
these dear children have so entwined themselves about my 
heart that the idea of being separated forever from them 
is dreadful beyond expression. 

You will, perhaps, say ^' Why then will you admit it ? 
Oh that it were possible to do otherwise. But can I be- 
lieve they are all Christians, while I know they dis- 
believe those doctrines which are the foundation of all my 
hopes, and that appear to me as plain in God's word as 
though written with a sun beam? I can no more doubt 
their meaning than I can my own existence, and if I 
could, my own experience, for fifty years, is to me strong 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 103 

evidence of their truth. I have no doubt of my heart 
being, by nature, totally depraved. I have continually 
woful proofs of it, and unceasing cause to adore the riches 
of free, unmerited grace, by vi^hich I am enabled to stand, 
and persevere, looking forward, with hope, that He, who is 
mighty to save, will strengthen me, with the divine influ- 
ences of his Holy Spirit, unto the end. 

We are poor, weak, inconsistent creatures, if left to 
ourselves. To love and trust the Lord Jesus is the great 
lesson we have to learn. He can forgive sin, impart grace, 
subdue corruptions, silence unbelief, make us strong out 
of weakness, and do more than we can ask or think, 
and has promised all this, and more, to all, without excep- 
tion, who call upon him in spirit and in truth. Prayer is 
not only our high privilege, but our most necessary duty. 
We must seek if we would find ; and to the sincere, the 
word of God is full of encouragement ; and indeed all that 
is necessary to make us wise unto salvation is there, and 
there only. But we cannot understand it, but by the 
teaching of the Holy Spirit. The dispensation of truth is 
in his hands, and this infallible Spirit Jesus is exalted to 
bestow, and he has said *^ Whosoever cometh unto me I 
will in no wise cast out ;" but for all we need we must seek 
by the diligent use of all appointed means. 

I fear, that by many who cal'l themselves Christians^ 
there is hardly any thing less known and understood, as 
to the power and experience of it, than the mystery of 
Christ^s sufferings and death for us, and justification by 
faith in him, as one with God ; tb^ugh it is the only foun- 
dation of the believer's hope, and, his greatest source of 



104 MEMOIR OF MUS. TAPPAN. 

comfort. My favorite Newton has this passage, which 
also has my full belief — " The blood of Messiah, in whom 
were united the perfections of the divine nature, and the 
real properties of humanity, and which the apostle there- 
fore calls the blood of God, this precious blood cleanses 
from all sin. It is exhibited as a propitiation of perpetual 
efficacy, by which God declares his righteousness, no less 
fjhan his mercy, in forgiving iniquities, and shows himself 
just to the demands of his holiness, and the honor of his 
government, when he accepts and justifies the sinner who 
believes in Jesus." If these things were understood, and 
attended to, would it be thought wonderful that this Savior 
is very precious to those who believe ? How can it possi- 
bly be otherwise? Grace like this, when known, must 
engage and fix the heart. 



To L. T. 

■: May, 1823. 

Dear L.— You invited me to write to you again, and 
expressed an intention to reperuse what I have already 
written. Had I the pen of a ready writer it would be my 
delightful employment to use it often in conveying my 
thoughts to dear children. I have many discouragements, 
arising from ignorance and weakness, but in love to my 
children I will yield to no one. That carries me far into 
futurity, and excites ardent desires that, when this earthly 
separation shall end, we may for ever be united in adoring, 
and singing grateful praises to God the Father, God the 
Son, and God the Holy Ghost ; and to all eternity sing the 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 105 

wonders of redeeming love, the mysteries of which so per- 
plex and divide us here, because we, poor short-sighted 
creatures cannot comprehend them. O, my son, leave 
sophistry, believe what God has revealed in his word, dili- 
gently attend to that preaching which is now so evidently 
blessed to the conversion of many, compare what you hear 
with that which is written, and seek to divest yourself of 
all prejudice. 

The promises of God^s word are sure. If you will but 
use his appointed means, with a sincere desire to have 
your mind enlightened, and to know the truth, you shall 
know of the doctrines, whether they be of God. I entreat 
you not to harden your heart against this glorious work, 
which evidently appears to be the vork of God, lest you 
be found fighting against Him. Itniay perhaps never oc- 
cur again in your day. It is what Christians have long 
been praying, and waiting for, and aie now rejoicing in. 
Do not you, dear L. behold and woncer, and ask yourself, 
what can make the mighty difference in the word preach- 
ed ? Surely it is not in him that willeth, nor in him that 
speaketh. It is the doctrines which God sees fit to own 
and bl^ss ; the doctrines of grace, which some would blot 
out from the Bible, faithfully preached to sinners, and set 
home on their hearts by the divine influences of the Holy 
Ghost, that operate thu$^ powerfully in breaking down the 
strong holds of sin, and building the kingdom of heaven. 
It is the preaching of the cross that sets forth the love, the 
amazing love, of God to sinners. In Christ Jesus he is 
made of God unto us wisdom, righteousness, sanctification 
and redemption. All fullness is in him. They that put 



106 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

their trust in him shall be like Mount Zion, which cannot 
be moved. That you may love, honor and obey him, as 
your God and Savior, is the prayer of her, who travels in 
birth for you, until Christ be formed in you the hope of 
glory. 



To L. T. 

October 1st, 1825. 

Dear L. — I have read yours, in which you apologize 
for the part you have taken as it respects B. and shall I 
add, wept over it, and spread it before the Lord, suppli- 
cating mercy for you. intreating that he who opened the 
eyes of the blind, wten here on earth, would cause that 
the scales might fall from yours also, and that he would 
enable you to discern the truth as it is in Christ Jesus. O, 
ray son, when you say my sentiments alienate the youthful 
mind from the love of God, do you think it possible that 
your love is more ardent than your mother's? Believe me, 
when I assure you, a God in Christ, reconciling the world 
to himself, is all my hope, my dependence for time and eter- 
nity ; and were I ia heaven, without my God, it would be 
no heaven to me. 

You think I worship a Savior, whom you cannot be- 
lieve to be God, md draw the conclusion that I do not 
love God as the one only living and true God, and that I 
view him in the li^ht of an inexorable Judge. But it is 
not so, for so far from it, the one only living and true God 
is the object of my most supreme love. O, how he has 
watched over me, guided and protected me through a long 
life. His mercies have been clustering round me all the 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN, 107 

way, and my only grief has been that I loved him no more, 
and served him no better. True, my sorrow has been 
greatly increased by the errors in which I have seen my 
dear children involved. I fear that my God is not their 
God. They are not willing that Christ should reign over 
them ; they count the blood of the covenant an unholy 
thing, and reject the divine influences of the Holy Spirit. 
With the Bible open to them, and its truths written as 
with a sun beam, they are wise above what is written ; and 
I am told my sentiments endanger the welfare of the soul I 
Can I cease to weep ? O, that my head were waters, and 
mine eyes a fountain of tears, that I might weep day and 
night, for my dear children, who will not come unto Christ 
that they may be healed. 

But, blessed be God, I do not mourn without hope. He 
has erected a throne of grace, and invited all to repair to 
it, assuring them that whosoever cometh, they shall in no 
wise be cast out. Here then I may repair, in full confi- 
dence that the Judge of all will do right ; and although out 
of Christ he is a consuming fire, yet in and through him, 
he is willing to be reconciled to the chief of sinners, not 
for any thing meritorious in them, but only for the sake of 
his well-beloved Son, who freely gave his life a ransom for 
his enemies. 

I know not perhaps exactly what your views of ortho- 
dox sentiments are, but they must be very erroneous, or you 
Would not write as you do. We believe that without holi- 
ness no man can enter heaven ; and we also believe that 
this means holiness of heart, evidenced by a constant en- 
deavor to obey all God's commands, with a humble depend- 



108 MEMOIR OP MRS. TAPPAN. 

ence on the divine influences of the Spirit, to enlighten us 
into all truth, purify our hearts, and enliven our desires 
after a more exact conformity to our Savior's example 
and precepts, relying wholly on his merits and righteous- 
ness for acceptance at last. 

You speak of making ourselves pure, and hastening on 
the consummation of all things. Alas, who is sufficient 
for these things ? Of ourselves we can do nothing but sin, 
and that cleaves to all we perform. Were it not for our 
Savior's gracious promises, and faith in them, the holiest 
man on earth could have no hope of ever seeing heaven. 
But they, believing his word, rely on his power, and find 
all the way that their expectations were not vain. They 
feel that his strength is made perfect in their weakness, 
and are assured that his grace is sufficient for them. Be- 
lieving, they go on their way rejoicing, not indeed without 
sore conflicts, from temptations without, and sin, their 
worst enemy, within. They follow their Almighty Leader, 
in sure confidence that he will never leave, nor forsake 
them, until his enemies, and their enemies, are subdued. 

Is it a wonder that Christ is precious ? We cannot 
exalt him too much, nor abase ourselves too low. There is 
no truth in the Bible, more experimentally proved, than that 
the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately 
wicked. Where is the experienced Christian, who does 
not, with Paul, daily groan, being burdened with a body 
of sin ? The nearer he walks with God, the more sensible 
is he of this malady, and the more rigorous is his opposi- 
tion to it. This is the Christian's warfare, which never 
will end but witb life. The Bible points to his armor, 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 109 

and directs him where to apply for wisdom, strength, and 
courage ; and holds out, as a reward to the conqueror, a 
crown of glory, eternal in the heavens. 

If I advance, dear L., any thing not scriptural, point it 
out to me, I entreat you. I know that I am a poor in- 
structor, but I write what I believe and think, — what I 
have some experience of If I wronged your sentiments 
let me know it. I have no desire to wound your feelings, 
nor do I believe you would deliberately give pain to me. 
It is not that which is sending me sorrowing to the grave, 
but the soul-ruining errors, which I fear will drown my 
dear children in perdition. I give you full credit for an 
upright intention. I have no doubt that you think you 
are doing God service, but O, my son, beware lest, with 
the zeal of Paul, you crucify, or lend all your influence to 
those who would persecute, Jesus Christ. Pause, I be- 
seech you, and consider the time is short, eternity is near. 
Think of what infinite importance a mistake may prove. 
O, pray earnestly for light. If, with sincerity, you seek, 
you will not, you cannot, be sent empty away. Only in 
the diligent use of means wait upon God ; let no earthly 
cares draw off your attention from so momentous a con- 
cern ; admit the possibility you may be mistaken ; and, as 
a little child, humbly seek for more light. 

I will not attempt to describe my feelings when you 
plead that conscience would not permit you to consent 
that B. should attend church with me. My first thought 
was that such blind zeal might lead a mother to the stake. 
Your letter gave no new turn to my feelings, and the sub- 
ject has been my constant companion ever since. I wish- 
10 



110 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

ed much to give vent to my thoughts while you were here^ 
but there was such a gloom hung over my mind that I 
could not utter a word, and when you spoke of the unfeel* 
ing conduct of a religious man at W., I wondered that you 
did not compare yourself with him; But it was to me a 
new evidence that you were blind ; and, while praying 
breath is granted me, I trust it will be spent in pleading 
that you may receive your sight, and that the now glori- 
fied Savior, who, in the days of his residence on earth, 
accepted of the faith of believing parents, in behalf of their 
children, would accept of mine, and heal you, for he is 
the same yesterday, to-day, and for ever. His arm is not 
shortened, neither is his ear heavy, that he cannot save to 
the uttermost all who put their trust in him. That you, 
my dear son, for whom I travail in birth till Christ be 
formed in you the hope of glory, may be redeemed by his 
most precious blood, is the most fervent prayer of your af- 
fectionate mother, your aged and dying mother. I surely 
write from the borders of the gravCj and in view of the bar 
of my Judge, and, li you will, your Savior. 

P. S. I have long had it on my mind that I ought to 
make some reply to your apologies respecting B., and also 
to notice your affectionate remarks on my birth-day. I 
have indeed lived many years, and can add that God has 
wonderfully distinguished me from many, far more deserv* 
ing his favor, and who doubtless would have much more 
advanced and honored his cause. My responsibility has 
also been great, as I have had more than thirty youths 
placed under my care, at different times, and some for 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. Ill 

years ; and much do I lament that this seed-time was no 
better improved. Had I fulfilled my covenant engage- 
ments^ and devoted all the powers and faculties which I 
possessed to the cause of that glorious Redeemer, who shed 
his precious blood for his enemies, my dear children had 
now perhaps all been his faithful followers. 

That I may, as it concerns you, my dear son, repair 
the injury, I now write under a sense that my time is short, 
and that soon we shall be separated to meet next at the 
bar of God. With what confidence could I look forward 
to this awful scene if I had nothing to depend on but my 
own merits ? Alas, all that I can sum up, for more than 
fifty years, is sin, and affords me no plea but this — Lord, 
be merciful to me a sinner ! And yet I am rejoicing in 
hope, for I know that my Redeemer lives, and am sure 
that as he has kept me so long from wickedly departing 
from him, so he is able to keep me unto the end ; and, O, 
my dear son, I entreat you to strive to your uttermost to 
gain this hope. Believe me, there is nothing you can do 
that will afford you at last the least support, without Christ. 
O make the Judge your friend before it is forever too late. 
Suffer not the pride of an unbelieving heart longer to blind 
your mind, but fly to Christ. He only is the city of refuge. 
Apply to him, with the teachableness of a little child, pray 
earnestly, as for your life, that you may see the deep de- 
pravity of your own heart. Nothing short of this will 
bring you to the foot of the cross, where you must, being 
deeply humbled for sin, become prostrate, looking to him, 
who though he knew no sin, yet bare your sins that you 
might live ; and now, by my band, offers, perhaps for the 



112 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

last time, pardon to you ; and, in the most pathetic man- 
ner, expostulates with you, saying. Why will ye die? Do 
not think me unkind, or hard-hearted, in any thing I have 
written. It is all written with sincere love, and is full of 
tender emotion, but in view of eternity. 



To W. T. 

As cold water to the thirsty soul so is good news from 
a far country. How delightful, when from a child, for 
whom a parent has felt the most anxious solicitude, and 
w^ho has, for a long course of years, offered up fervent 
prayers to that Being who does not willingly afflict nor 
grieve the children of men. He is continually showering 
down rich mercies on the evil and unthankful, or surely I 
had not tasted so often of his bounties. They are new 
every morning, and fresh every evening. If my dear chil- 
dren were pious, and would unite with me in singing, with 
their whole hearts, the Redeemer's praises, my cup would 
be full to overflowing. O, that God would be pleased to 
triumph over infidelity, vice and error! But He has a 
sovereign right to dispose of all things as he sees fit, ac- 
cording to his own good pleasure, 

God has said that he will be sought after, in his own 
appointed way. This is an unspeakable privilege, that we 
may draw near the mercy-seat, in humble hope of being 
heard and accepted, — though not for our own sake, yet 
for his sake, who has condescended to take oar nature up- 
on him, and has died that we might live. He is now- 
pleading on high, in behalf of all who put their trust in 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 113 

him. He has said, ye believe in God, believe also in me. 
I and my Father are one. Whatsoever ye ask the father, 
in my name, I will do it. My dear son, let me entreat you 
to believe what God has said ; ask and you shall receive ; 
seek and you shall find ; knock and the door shall be 
opened. 

Words cannot express my emotions when we parted — 
perhaps to meet no more in this world. Think, my dear 
son, of our next meeting. Should it be at the tribunal of 
our Judge, oh ! may you and I meet to unite in singing 
praises to the triune God. I saw the anguish of your 
heart, and sympathized with, and wept for you, but was 
convinced nothing earthly could relieve you. It must be 
the work of God. -* ^ * Resist not the strivings of the 
Holy Spirit ; seal not your own condemnation. O, how 
shall we escape if we neglect so great salvation? Now is 
the accepted time, now is the day of salvation. 

O, trifle not, I entreat you, but consider it is for your 
life, the eternal life of your soul. What will it avail you 
though you gain the whole world and lose your soul, or 
what can you give in exchange for your soul ? Alas I 
nothing can countervail the damage. * * =^ Believe me, 
religion will afford you solid and rational happiness, such 
as the world can neither give nor take away. With a mind 
contented with the allotments of providence, whether pros- 
perous or adverse, you will receive all as coming to you by 
the immediate direction of God, your father and friend, 
who has promised that all things shall work for your good. 
10* 



114 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 



To ONE WHO Professed to Submit to Christ. 

O if indeed God has inclined your heart towards him, 
stripped you of every vain plea, and made you willing, 
with humiliation and sincere contrition, to give yourself up 
to him, then look to the cross of Christ, meditate on the 
glorious worth of redemption, resolve that if you must per- 
ish it shall be crying, with the most earnest solicitude, God 
he merciful to me a sinner. Plead the merits and atone- 
ment of that Savior who died to save sinners such as you, 
who is now exalted to plead for all who believe in him, and 
who has said, Come unto me, all ye that labor and are 
heavy laden, and I will give you rest. He will in no wise 
cast out any that come unto him. Whosoever will, let him 
come, and take of the waters of life, ^^ without money and 
without price.'' 

Free grace leaves nothing for us to do but to believe. 
It is unbelief that destroys the sinner. How wonderful it 
is that when such rich provision is made by God himself, 
for the salvation of fallen man, he should need so many per- 
suasives to induce him to accept of the proffered mercy. 
How forcibly does it evince the depravity of the heart, and 
that it is totally alienated from God by unbelief. Surely 
it is justly described in the word of God as '^ deceitful 
above all things, and desperately wicked : who can know 
it?" Jer. xvii, 9. Bless God for discovering yours, in 
any measure, to you. Seek for a more thorough knowledge 
of it. 

To this end study the Bible, diligently divest yourself 
of prejudice, hear those preachers who will explain to you, in 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 115 

the most forcible manner, the truths of the gospel ; shun 
those fashionable preachers, who prophecy smooth things 
that will lull you into a false security; and form all your re- 
solutions in an humble dependence upon divine aid. Re- 
member it is said, " my grace shall be sufficient for thee : 
for my strength is made perfect in weakness J' 2 Cor. xii, 9. 
If you seek, with your wliole heart, for an interest in these 
promises, they must be yours. O trifle not, I beseech you, 
in this all important subject. * * * 

I am glad I was directed to put Baxter in your way. 
It is an excellent guide. I am a firm believer in the over- 
ruling care of providence, and trust you will yet be thank- 
ful for the trials that God has appointed. It is hard for a 
rich man to enter into the kingdom of heaven. And why? 
Because he is satisfied with what he possesses, not consi- 
dering what snares they may prove. But whom the Lord 
loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he 
receiveth. The Psalmist says, ^' before I was affiiicted I 
went astray J^ Psalm cxix, 67. Afflictions are God's 
messengers, to recall our wandering steps, and we should 
eye His hand in them. Creatures are but his instruments, 
are under his direction, and can go no farther than he per- 
mits them. 

You told me your wife thinks she is a Christian, * * * 
unite around your family altar, with your dear children, 
morning and evening ; assist each other in instilling good 
instruction into their young and tender minds ; take de- 
light in reading, and conversing, upon religious subjects ; 
and thus go hand in hand in the straight and narrow path. 
All old things will become new, by being sources of humi- 



116 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN, 

iiation and praise. You have a charming family of chil- 
dren, all of whom may, by your united endeavors, become 
pious, and then what a treasure they will prove. * * May 
they prove sweet ingredients in your cup of earthly bliss, 
and a crown of rejoicing in the world to come. Children 
are precious treasures committed to our care, and our re- 
sponsibility is very great. We have need to be continually 
on the watch to improve all our talents, and every means. 



To C T. 

December 24, 1825. 

Dear C. — I have taken up my pen to write you a few 
lines, in hopes it will induce you to write to me. I fear I 
have not discharged my duty in so long remaining silent. 
Do you not sometimes wish you had a friend, to whom you 
could open your whole heart ? Now, where could you con- 
fide, with more safety, than in the bosom of a mother ? I 
know you have a bosom friend, but I also know, experi- 
mentally, that, on religious subjects, we cannot use that 
freedom which we can with some not so intimately ac- 
quainted with us. 

I need not inform you, for I have often manifested it, 
that I am deeply interested in the welfare of the souls of 
my children ; and I regret that I did not labor more, when 
they were young, to ground them well in the doctrines of 
the Bible. But then it did not appear probable that they 
would be in danger from the errors of the present day. 
Indeed I never had heard of them, and I could wish that 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 117 

my dear children never had, but God has permitted it 
should be so. It is my greatest trial,* but infinite wisdom 
has appointed it, and I desire to be still and know that He 
is God, holy and just in his ways. It is my comfort too to 
believe that he has the hearts of all in his hands, and is 
infinitely able to bow the most obdurate to his will ; and 
will most assuredly save all who accept the offers of mer- 
cy through a Redeemer, *^ in whom ive have redemption 
through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the 
riches of his grace.^^ Eph. i, 7. 

What the word of God has revealed I am bound to be- 
lieve ; but not to comprehend or explain. It is expressly 
said, *^ He that believeth =^ * * * shall be saved J^ Luke 
xvi, 16. What are we to believe, if not what is clearly 
revealed concerning our salvation through an Almighty 
Savior ? We are commanded to search the Scriptures, 
for they are the words of life eternal, and testify of Christ, 
from Genesis to Revelations, that He is God 'dwelling in 
man, that he freely offered himself a sacrifice for us sin- 
ners of the race of Adam. He took our nature upon him, 
that he might die, and God dwelt in that nature, that their 
redemption might be complete, and justice satisfied ; " And 
without controversy/ great is the mystery of Godliness : 
God was manifest in the flesh, justified in the Spirit, seen 
of angels, preached unto the Gentiles, believed on in the 
world, received up into glory, ^^ 1 Tim. iii, 16. See also 



* At these places, as elsewhere in her letters to her children, there 
are evidences that this affectionate mother bedewed the manuscript 
with her tears while she mourned over the wickedness of her children, 
and urged upon them to accept of mercy through a crucified Savior. 



118 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

the first chapter of John's gospel, and Hebrews iii, 4. 
^' For every house is huilded by some man ; hut lie that 
huiU all things is GodP 

But, alas, it is also too true of man, both from Scripture 
and experience, ^'that every imagination of the thoughts of 
his heart was only evil continually,^' Gen. vi, 5 ; and that 
*^ the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately 
wicked; who can know it?" Jer. xvii, 9. I say from ex- 
perience, for surely I can testify to the truth of that text, 
for more than fifty years, and the more clear my views are 
of the holy character of God, and the purity of his law, so 
much more vile does my heart appear. O, my dear son, 
if you have been made sensible that you are a sinner, in 
the true scriptural sense, you have felt your need of an Al- 
mighty Savior, and I hope have fled to Christ for refuge. 
O that it may be so. The promise is sure, *^ them that cometh 
to me I will in no wise cast out ;" but '^ he that cometh to 
God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of all 
them that diligently seek him.'' * ^ * o that you may 
so seek as to find, so pray as to be heard, is the fervent 
prayer of her who travails in birth for you, until Christ be 
formed in you the hope of glory. From your affectionate 
mother, S. Tappan. 



memoir of mrs. tappan. 119 

Family Record. 

The following genealogical particulars were obtained 
from the Boston town records, from the venerable Mrs. 
Abigail Waters and others. They cannot but be interest- 
ing to near relatives, and even the minuteness with which 
some of the facts are related, will, instead of diminishing, 
add to the interest with which these family reminiscences 
are perused. 

Rev. William Homes* was born in the north of Ire- 
land, the place not being known to the present descend- 
ants. It was probably near Londonderry. He married 
a Miss Craghead of that town, and was settled in the 
ministry in that region, being ordained a minister of the 
Presbyterian church, October 21st, 1692. Mention is 
made of his preaching at Straban in 1696, and at other 
places in the neighborhood in 1705. Soon after the latter 
date he emigrated to North America. He was installed 
pastor of the church at Chilmark,t Martha's Vineyard, 
Massachusetts, in 1715 or 1716. He was the author of 
several pieces that appeared in print, one of them being a 
discourse on the proper observance of the Christian Sab- 
bath : and some of his sermons were published in a small 
volume. 

He fiad a salary of 80Z. old tenor, and is said to have 
left the care of his domestic affairs to his wife, while he 

* This is the correct orthography of this family. Others speil the 
name Holmes. 

t See Collections of Historical Society, (Mass,) Vol. iii. page 1^, \ : 



120 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN* 

devoted himself to his studies. He was considered a man 
of worth, and was highly venerated by his cotemporaries. 
Mr. B. T. recollected hearing the aged people, who came 
from the Vineyard, speak of him as a devotedly pious man. 
Mr. Homes had seven children, three sons and four daugh- 
ters, and five of them survived him. Their names were 
Robert, Margaret, Hannah, &c. One of the daughters 
married a Mr. Hutchinson of Nantucket. Mrs. S. T. re- 
collected being at their house. Their only son, James, 
was a tailor in Boston, and afterwards moved to Sudbury. 

Capt. Robert Homes was master of a vessel that 
traded from Boston to Philadelphia. He married Mary 
Franklin, sister to Dr. Benjamin Franklin. She was 
born 26th September, 1694. Dr. Franklin has made 
mention of his brother-in-law in his life. It is supposed 
he was lost at sea. He left two children, William and 
Abiah. 

Margaret Homes married Wilmot Wass,* who was 
High Sheriff. They lived in Silsbury, (Middietown, so 
called) on the Vineyard. Another daughter married one 
DoGGETT. The other married Colonel Jonathan Allen, 
of Chilmark. He was much of a gentleman, and a man 
of much respectability. One of his sons, Jonathan, gradua- 
ted at Harvard college. 

Hannah Homes was the youngest daughter, and died 
a single woman. She was pious. Mrs. S. T. remember- 
ed her, and was her room-mate on a visit to the Vineyard, 
during her youth. Her nephew, William Homes, sat her 
up as a shop-keeper, at Martha's Vineyard. 

* Mr. William E. Mayhew, of Baltimore, is his great grand soil 



MEMOIR OP MRS. TAPPAN, 121 

William Homes, Esq., son of Captain Robert Homes, 
was born on the 10th January, 1716, in the house at the 
corner of Union and Hanover streets, Boston. He went 
to the Vineyard when quite young, and probably lived 
with his grand-father. When he was fourteen years of 
age, he was apprenticed to Mr. Rufus Green, goldsmith, 
whose shop was in Newbury-street, Boston, next to Messrs. 
Green &l Cleverly's shop. Until he was of age he attend- 
ed the Episcopal church, with his master, but ever after- 
wards a Congregational church. 

He married Rebecca Dawes, the eleventh child and 
fifth daughter, of Thomas and Sarah Dawes. She was 
born in Boston, 9th March, 1717. They were married 
24th April, 1740, by Rev. Dr. Sewall, and lived in Ann- 
street, back of Mr. H.'s shop, where Messrs. Gay &/ Veasy 
kept, in 1819. Afterwards they lived in Sudbury-street. 

When his son William arrived at the age of twenty- 
one, his father quit the goldsmith business, giving it up to 
his son, and bought a store in the market, next to where 
Mr. Train had a store in the year 1819. Mr. Homes 
traded to Philadelphia, in flour and iron. His store was 
burned during the revolutionary war. He then bought a 
farm in Norton, Mass. and moved his family to that town. 

He died in Boston, in July, 1785, of the dysentery, 
while on a visit, in the seventieth year of his age. 

He died in the house of his son-in-law, Mr. Webb, 
two doors south of Winter-street, on the west side of New- 
bury-street. His widow, Mrs. Rebecca Homes, moved 
from Norton to Boston, and passed the remainder of her 
days in the family of her son William. For several years 
her sight was failing, and she was totally blind ten or 
11 



122 MEMOIR OP MRS, TAPPAN. 

twelve of the last years of her life. She went to Ports- 
mouth, N. H., to consult a famous Dr. Hall, but getting 
no relief she went to Stafford Springs, Mass., in the sum- 
mer of 1769. Mr. B. Tappan went from Northampton to 
see her there. She got no benefit from the mineral 
waters, and was obliged to live in total darkness during 
the remainder of her life. She was, however, cheerful, 
and industrious, being accustomed to thread her needle, 
and sew and knit, without assistance. In person and 
air, Mrs. S. T. thought she bore a striking resemblance 
to the late Mrs. Esther Stoddard, of Northampton. 

Mrs. Homes died at her son's house, in Ann-street, 
nearly opposite the *' Golden Key,'' in July or August, 
1786, aged sixty-nine. Both she, and her husband, w^ere 
buried in the family tomb, in the Chapel Burying-ground, 
Tremont-street. They both became pious under the 
preaching of Mr. Whitefield and Mr. Tennent. She 
was a member of a female praying circle which, it is 
believed, is continued, in Boston, to the present day.* 

Mr. Homes, before the revolutionary war, held the 
commission of a justice of the peace under the royal 
governor. He was a public spirited man, and a decided 
Christian. He was particular in a strict observance of 
the Sabbath. It was a saying of his that attention to aged 
parents, and a conscientious regard for the Lord's day, be- 
sides being pleasing to God, conduced essentially to tempo- 
ral prosperity. He used to speak favorably of the meritorious 
conduct of Colonel Thomas Dawes, who took his aged mo- 
ther and five sisters to his house, supported them all, and was 

* See Memoirs of Mrs. Abigail Waters, page 6L 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 123 

remarkably prospered and honored. Mr. Homes himself, 
supported two or three aged aunts in their old age. He 
has been represented to be a man of a tender conscience, 
good tempered, and inclined to jocoseness. This latter 
propensity he checked as much as possible. In his perso- 
nal appearance he was thin, had large joints, was rather 
round shouldered, and in his countenance was thought to 
bear a striking resemblance to his uncle. Dr. Franklin. 

William and Rebecca Homes had fifteen children, 
few of whom lived to be adults. Mary was born on the 
5th March, 1740. She married Barnabas Webb, who 
was apprentice to his father-in-law, and worked at the 
goldsmith business until he was old. She died in the year 
1833, at Thomastown, Maine, at the age of ninety-three. 

William Homes, Jun. was born May 7th, 1742, in 
Ann-street, in the house nearly opposite the one in which 
he died, on Lord's day, 13th January, 1825, aged eighty- 
three. He worked at the goldsmith business to his last 
sickness. He was an exemplary Christian, and his honesty 
was proverbial. 

Thomas was born May 16, 1743. 

Katharine, April 12, 1746. 

Abigail died sixteen months old. 

Rebecca died when she was five years old. She gave 
evidences of piety. Her sister Sarah, who was two years 
younger, recollected seeing her on her knees at prayer, 
and it made a strong impression upon her mind. 

Sarah was born in the house where her brother 
William lived and died, in Ann-street, January 2, 1748, 
{new style) and was married to Benjamin Tappan, Mon- 



124 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

day evening, October 22, 1770, in Hawkins-street, near 
Sudbury-street, by Rev. Dr. Cooper, her own minister, Dr, 
Sewall, being sick. She, as well as her mother, had four- 
teen brothers and sisters. She had eleven children, viz : 
Sarah, Benjamin, Rebecca, Lucy, William, John, Charles, 
Arthur, Lewis, Elizabeth and George. The nine eldest 
survived her. Elizabeth died at the age of twenty-eight, 
and George died the day of his birth. 

Benjamin had a large family, lived in Berkshire 
County, Mass., and died in the year 1819, at about fifty- 
six years of age. 

Elizabeth died a single woman in the year 1790, at 
the age of thirty-three, while on a visit to Boston, and was 
buried in the Chapel Burying-ground, in the family 
tomb. 

The remotest ancestor of Benjamin Tappan, husband 
of Mrs. Sarah Tappan, of whom any knowledge has de- 
scended in the family, was Abraham Tappin. He died 
in Boston, England, whence his widow, Susanna, and her 
children, emigrated to Salisbury, Mass. Their names -were 
Peter ^ Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, John and Patty. From the 
eldest, Peter, descended Peter^ Jane, Samuel, Elizabeth 
and Christopher. From Samuel, the third child, w^ho was 
a farmer, descended Samuel, Joseph, Wigglesworth, Abi- 
gail, Martha, Mary, Ebenezer, Lydia, Benjamin, and 
Joseph. From the ninth child, Benjamin, descended 
Benjamin, Samuel, Mary, David, Wigglesworth, Abigail^ 
Samuel, Ebenezer, Michael, Elizabeth, Martha, and 
Amos. 

In Newbury, (Old Town,) Burying-ground (Rev. Leo- 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 125 

iiard Withington's) B. T. saw a grave-stone of his grand 
parents, Samuel and Abigail Toppan.* Their names, &c. 
were on the same stone, a circumstance that " struck 
me," said B. T. " agreeably.'^ A stone, with the name of 
Christopher Toppan, brother to Samuel, was close by. 
He was the minister of the parish. B. T. saw his grand- 
mother, Abigail,t after he was of* age. He described 
her as a small woman. Her maiden name was Wiggles- 
worth, and all that family were of small stature. Her 
father was minister of Maiden, and her brother Edward, 
Professor of Divinity in Harvard College. 

Samuel and Abigail Toppan lived on a twenty-five acre 
lot, situated near the meeting-house. B. T. recollected 
the house. Samuel was a farmer. They afterwards lived 
on the Rowley road, a mile from the meeting-house; and 
here they died. 

B. T. remembered his eldest uncle, Samuel. His 
father was born in 1720, entered Harvard College at 
seventeen, and graduated at the age of twenty-one ; kept 
school at Haverhill, Mass. ; boarded in the family of Mr. 
David Marsh,! and married his eldest daughter, Elizabeth, 

* B. T. spelled his name Tappen, to conform to the orthography of 
the families of this name residing in the State of New-York, while his 
father. Rev. B. T., spelled it Toppan. His father, and brother David, 
proposed to him that if he would alter the last syllable to pan they 
would spell the first syllable tap. Christopher Toppan threatened to 
disinherit his son Edmund, for altering his name to Tappan, and he 
discontinued writing it thus. 

t See her letter to her son Benjamin contained in this volume. 

t The name was originally spelled Mash. Four brothers came 
over from England. George settled at Hingham, Mass. One brother 
settled at Hadley. A branch of the latter moved to Northamp^ 

11* 



126 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

in 1746. He was settled in the ministry at Manchester, 
Essex County, where he died. His salary was .£80, *' to 
be paid in silver at 6s. 8d. an ounce." He had young 
men studying with him, from time to time. His eyes 
were small, and deep in his head ; he had a dent in his 
chin, dimples in his cheeks, and was inclined to corpu- 
lency. 

The foHowing are particulars respecting the children 
of Samuel Toppan, son of Abraham. Samuel was a 
farmer in Newbury. He had seven children, Samuel, 
Amos, Sarah, Mary, Abigail, and Ebenezer. His second 
son, Amos, graduated at Harvard College, in 1758, was a 
minister at Kingston, N. H., and died young, leaving a 
widow only. Wigglesworth died a bachelor. In the 
former part of his life, he lived at Old York, (Maine ;) was 
one of the Deacons, and much respected ; but in his old 
age he removed to Newbury, bought his father's mansion- 
house, and died at about the age of seventy. Abigail 
married Samuel Noyes, of Newburyport. They had five 
children, John, Ebenezer, Abigail, Mary, and Judith. 
Martha married John Smith, of Newburyport. They had 
two children, John and Abigail. She was married again 

ton. From George descended Onesiphomis, who died in 1713. His son 
John died in 1734 — botti aged about eighty. Onesiphorus was a farmer. 
On his grave-stone the name is spelled Mash. From John descended 
David, who died at Haverhillj in his eightieth year. He married a 
Mary Moody, from Newbury. Her father was a coaster. She lived 
to the age of ninety-one, and had not lost one of her twelve children. 
If she had lived to the age of one hundred and three she would not have 
lost a child. She died in the year 1794. Her eldest daughter, Eliza- 
beth, was born in Haverhill, on Marsh's Hill, a mile west from the 
meeting-house. This family has been remarkable for the longevity of 
its members. 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 127 

to Cutting Moody, of Newburyport. Their children 
were Mary, Lydia, Ebenezer and Hannah. Lydia mar- 
ried Jonathan Marsh. Mary married Joseph Couch. 
They had no children. Lydia married Jesse Smith. 
They lived in Newburyport, and had ten children, viz : 
Moses, Mary, Michael, Jane, John, Richard, Abigail, 
Samuel, Joseph, and Martha. Benjamin married Eliza- 
beth Marsh, and was minister of Manchester. They 
had twelve children, Benjamin, Samuel, Mary, David, 
Wigglesworth, Abigail, Samuel, Ebenezer, Michael, 
Elizabeth, Patty, and Amos. 

Benjamin Tappan was born October 21, (O. S.) 1747, 
and married Sarah Homes. They had eleven children, 
ten of whom lived to adult ages, and were all married. 
He died January 29, 1831, aged 83 years and 65 days. 
Samuel was born in 1749 and died in 1751. Mary was 
born in 1751, and died in 1810. She married Josiah 
Fairfield, of Pepperelborough. They had two children, 
Priscilla and William. She afterwards married Aaron 
BuRNHAM, of Scarboro". David was born in 1753, and 
died in 1803. He married Mary Sawyer. They had 
eight children, Sarah, Enoch, David, Mary, Benjamin, 
Hannah, George W., and Mary Eliza. He was Professor 
of Divinity in Harvard College. Wigglesworth was 
born in 1754 or 1755, and died in 1794 or 1795. He 
married a daughter of deacon Chase, of Saco. They 
had two children, Sarah and Samuel. Abigail was born 
in 1757. She married Mr. Chase, of Portsmouth, N. H. 
They had three children, Stephen, Benjamin Tappan, and 
John. Afterwards she married John Baker. They had 



128 MEMOIJBt OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

one child, Mary. Samuel was born in 1759 and died in 
1806. He married Aurelia Bingham, of Manchester. 
They had six children, Aurelia, Amos, William Bingham, 
Eliza, Daniel Dana, and Samuel. Ebenezer was born in 
1761. He married Betsy Foster, of Manchester. They 
had eight children, Ebenezer, Benjamin, Samuel, Israel, 
Betsy (two of that name) Sally, and Mary. Michael was 
born in 1763, was married, and his children were named 
Nancy and Abigail. Elizabeth was born in 1765. She 
married Mr. Chase, of Saco. Martha was born in 1766, 
or 1767. Amos was born in 1768. He graduated at Har- 
vard College, in 1788, and married Isabella Buckmin- 
^ter, who died in 1814. 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 



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MEMOIR OP MRS. TAPPAN. 133 



Extract of a letter written by Mrs. Abigail Tappan to her son, (after- 
wards minister of Manchester, Mass., and father of Mr. Benjamin 
Tappan, the husband of the subject of this Memoir,) who was then 
a Student in Harvard College. The letter is so valuable, that it is 
thought its perusal, in connection with the preceding letters, will be 
interesting and instructive. 

Newbury, (Mass.,) April 14, 1740. 

Son Benjamin — I rejoice to hevar of your bodily 
health, but more especially that the Spirit of God is striving 
with you J minding you of your duty and interest; and 
that you are calling to mind sick-bed promises and resolu- 
tions. The Lord enable you to pay the vows, which your 
lips have uttered, and your mouth hath spoken, in the day 
of your distress ! Having opened your mouth to the Lord, 
you may not go back : God will account it sacrilege, if 
you do. Read Ecclesiastes v, 4; '' When thou vowest a 
vow, defer not to pay it ; for God hath no pleasure in fools. 
Pay that thou hast vowed." Besides, with what face will 
you dare to sue for mercy any more in time of danger and 
distress, if you neglect to pay your vows ? 

To renew your covenant with God is your undoubted 
duty and interest ; an.d I advise you to do it, first in secret 
between God and your own soul, and that vv^ith the great- 
est seriousness, solemnity and mature deliberation ; and 
afterwards publicly ; and with a deep sense of your own 
impotency and unworthiness. By earnest, fervent prayer, 
in the name, and for the sake of Jesus Christ, implore the 
assistance of the Holy Spirit of grace, that he would take 
an everlasting possession of your soul, and set up his 
12 



134 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

kingdom there ; that he would loose the bands of sin, the 
chains and fetters of iniquity, and set your soul at liberty, 
to run in the way of his commandments with enlargement 
of heart. 

Be diligent, constant and very serious in attending 
upon the means of grace in public and private ; and watch, 
pray and strive against a vain, wandering and trifling spi- 
rit in holy duties. As a remedy against such an evil 
disease endeavour to get a thorough sense of the vast 
weight of unseen and eternal things ; possess your mind 
with a sense of the vanity and emptiness of all earthly en- 
joyments, and with the worth and value of your immortal 
soul ; — that it will be a most unprofitable bargain to gain 
the whole world with the loss of your soul. Labor to see 
the exceeding sinfulness of sin, and your deep and deadly 
pollution by it. Fix your eye on your wicked heart, that 
fountain and spring of corruption, that defiles ail your ac- 
tions, that inclines to all evil, and makes you averse to do any 
thing that is good. Then look over your innumerable actual 
transgressions. Think how you have sinned against the 
clearest light, the dearest love, and against promises and 
vows of amendment 

Let these thoughts fill you with shame and sorrow ; and 
beg of God to give you repentance unto life, and to pardon 
your sins for Christ's sake. Endeavor to see the trans- 
cendant beauty, loveliness, and excellency of Jesus Christ, 
his fullness and all-sufficiency ; — that God has laid help 
upon one that is mighty ; that there is enough in him to 
pay all your debts ; to supply all your wants, be they ever 
60 many, ever so great. Pray to God for the grace of faith, 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAFPAN. 135 

and that he would draw you to Jesus Christ, and enable 
you to believe on his name. 

Think of the blessedness of the man, whose transgres- 
sions are forgiven, whose sin is covered ; of the man that 
has God for his portion. Remember that God offers him- 
self to you, to be your shield and exceeding great reward; 
that he commands you to seek his face, and says, *^ My 
son, give me thy heart." Now obey his voice, and turn at 
his reproof * * * Consult the exceeding great and precious 
promises of the gospel. ^^ Ask, and ye shall receive ; seek, 
and ye shall find ; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. 
Come unto me, all ye that are weary and heavy laden, 
and ye shall find rest unto your souls. He that cometh 
to me shall never hunger ; and he that believeth on me, 
shall never thirst." 

Excite all the ardor of your soul to a fixed resolution 
to be the Lord's, and to join yourself to him in an everlast- 
ing covenant, that shall never be broken nor forgotten. I 
earnestly advise you to go to the minister, who will rejoice 
in having an opportunity to serve God, and to assist you 
w4th his counsel and prayers. Tell him plainly your case, 
your promises, your hopes, your fears ; and be sure to ob- 
serve his directions. Now the God of all grace be with 
you, bless you, and make you a blessing ; direct, strength- 
en, settle you, and build you up by faith upon that rock of 
ages, Jesus Christ, that God hath laid in Zion for sinners 
to build upon. Your loving mother, 

Abigail Toppan. 



136 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 



The following letter was written by Rev, Benjamin Tappan, of 
3Ianchester, to his son at Northampton. 

For Mr. Benjarain Toppan, of Northampton^ Goldsmith, 

Manchester, February 7, 1770. 

Dear Child — It is difficult for me to write to you ; 
but yet easy and natural for me to remember and care for 
you. God is my witness that I think of you by day and 
night ; and that I forget you not in my addresses to the 
throne of grace. — I am greatly concerned for your welfare. 
I mean your spiritual and eternal. When I think of the 
carelessness, heedlessness, and irreligion of 3^oung people, 
I am in distress for you — my son. O my painful fears lest 
you live as other young people seem commonly to do in 
the neglect of God, Christ, and their own souls. How- 
ever, I hope you do not. 

Beware lest you miss of the grace of God, and fall 
short of his kingdom. Let the blessings of God^s king- 
dom be sought in the first and chiefest place. Give all 
diligence in your endeavors to secure the good part which 
shall never be taken away. Let God's grace, and love, 
and salvation, be the objects of your most vehement 
desires, with fervent prayers, and most careful and un- 
wearied endeavors. Let it be your main concern, on 
common days, as well as Sabbath days, to make provision 
for your soul's welfare. Be solicitous, both day and night, 
about a preparation for death, judgment and eternity. 

Beware of the world, flesh, and devil. Be addicted to 
serious consideration = Think often of your soul, your 
errand into the world, and your work in it ; the greatness 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 137 

of your work here ; the shortness of time ; the uncertainty 
of time ; the duration of eternity ; the blessedness of such 
as die in the Lord ; the misery of such as die in their 
sins, and under their Maker's displeasure ; the worth of 
salvation ; the fearfulness of damnation, &c. 

Be addicted to serious and impartial self-examination. 
Be much in prayer and supplication. Be watchful as 
well as prayerful. Make conscience of your behaviour 
towards God and man. Willingly neglect no ordinances 
or duties whatever. Be religious in secret, as well as in 
public. See to it that you are religious indeed and in 
truth, as well as in word or profession. 

Take heed that you rest not in an external profession. 
See to it that you have the internals and externals both. 
Live not contented without regeneration by the Spirit of 
God. Seek to have all old things done away, and all 
things become new in you. Rest in nothing short of that 
faith, and love, and repentance, and fear, and obedience, 
and devotedness to God, which is according to the sacred 
word. Give yourself no rest till you have obtained God's 
. Spirit, grace, salvation, and love. Give yourself no rest, 
till you can humbly conclude God yours, Christ yours, 
salvation yours, and Heaven yours. 

My son ! my son ! my son 1 my dear son ! my own 
flesh ! Will you hear me ? will you hearken to a father 
who loves you like himself, and your soul like his own ? 
God give you ears to hear, and eyes to see, and a heart to 
obey ! Will he make you wise for your own soul ! May 
it please him to make you wise unto salvation, and fo^ 
eternity ! 

12* 



138 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

We are all well, through divine mercy, and hope you 
are. We long to hear from you. Send us a line the first 
opportunity. We have not heard from you since the re- 
ception of your letter of October. — My love^ with your 
mother's and brothers' and sisters'. 

Your affectionate father, 

B. TOPPAN. 

p. S. There have been several sudden deaths, of late, 
in Ipswich and Salem. Boast not, my son, of to-morrow. 
Be solicitous to be always ready to die, and appear in the 
presence of God. 

Lieutenant Lee, last week, received news of the death 
of his daughter Bishop. Heavy tidings. O how heavy ? 
'Tis sad work, very sad, to bury dear children. O how 
sad to bui^y adult children ! Unless they are evidently 
pious ! What work is it to bury children of whom we 
have scarcely the least hope ! 



Letters from Benjamin Tapfan^ Esa. 
To L. T. 

NoRTHAMPTCN, September 26, 1809. 
My Dear Son — * * * In your journey to the South 
you have had opportunity to visit two of the most populous 
<iities in the Union, and to observe their ways of doing 
business, as well as the manners and foibles of the inhabi- 
tants. These v/ill not be lost upon you, I hope. You 
are, my son, just setting out in the world, and have a cha- 
racter to form. O, be anxious to begin well. Seek to 
God for his direction and blessing ; and acknowledge him 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 139 

in all your ways, and he will direct your paths. Shun the 
crooked and deceitful ways of sin, and be honest and up- 
right in your whole dealings with your fellow men. Try 
to establish a fair character as a merchant, and never be 
guihy of any thing that looks like tricks, or a desire or 
wish to overreach those with whom you trade. I have no 
suspicion of your doing otherwise than right, but, as a be- 
loved son, I warn you (as I think it my duty) not to go 
with the wicked and the workers of iniquity, but to follow 
the ways of good and virtuous men. Then you may hope 
to be prospered and blessed, both here and hereafter. 

Mr. D. S. W. will inform you of the probable fate of 
your friend Henry Lyman. I hope that it will have a due 
effect upon your mind, and lead you to reflect on the short- 
ness of life, and on the need we have to be prepared for 
the summ^ons of death. Mr. W. is your friend, and will 
be a pleasing companion to me, I expect, in trade. * =* * 
I anticipate great comfort from this connection with him in 
the evening of life, and hope that I shall not be disap- 
pointedc 

As your parents are growing old, and will probably 
have ill turns in the course of the winter, we wish to have 
your sister Elizabeth return from Boston to be with us, 
* * * but if she is not ready to come so soon, she has my 
consent to stay longer, and indeed I do not insist upon her 
returning this fall, if she and her friends wish her to stay 
through the winter, being willing to forego our comfort 
and convenience to gratify her and our dear children. 
Your affectionate father, 

B. Tappak. 



140 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

To L. T. 

NoRTHAMPTONj October 21j 1809. 

My Dear Son — ^ * * * I have enquired the par- 
ticulars of the last end of your friend, H. Lyman, and 
learn that he was unwell some days before he left Mon- 
treal. He came on with S. Henshaw, and was twenty- 
four hours crossing the lake to Burlington, without having 
any thing comfortable to eat or drink. When he arrived 
there he was so weak that he could not walk to the house, 
from the boat, without assistance. He grew v^orse daily, 
and his friends were sent for. His brother Lewis arrived 
on Monday, and found him very low. On Wednesday 
evening he died. About five minutes before he expired, 
he w^as able to take some broth, and said that he relished 
it well. 

His brother, and the physicians, agreed to keep his 
danger out of sight, and flattered him that he was getting 
better, so that he left the world without thinking, (so far 
as appears to mortals) of the great and awful change that 
awaited him, or making any preparation for it. Happy 
for him if he had prepared in season, but I think friends 
are to blame to conceal the danger when it is evident, 
as it serves to lull the patient into false security, and en- 
dangers his eternal happiness. His death is greatly de- 
plored by his friends and acquaintance. I hope, my dear 
son, it will not he lost upon you. Remember that there 
is but one thing needful, and choose that good part which 
will never be taken from you. Take great care that 
your heart is not too much taken up with the cares of this 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 141 

vain world, for vain it will certainly appear on a sick bed 
and in the near approach of death. ^ ^ * 

The state of our country is gloomy, and the rest of the 
world much worse. Happy for those who have a treasure 
in a better and an eternal one. Your mother unites in 
love to you, with your ever affectionate father, 

Benj. Tappan. 



ToL. T. andS. A. T. 

Northampton, January 5, 1812. 
Dear Children — Your parents have prayed for, and 
sympathized with you, under your late soie affliction, in 
the distressing sickness and death of your first born and 
belored child. Your trials have been severe and tedious, 
for several months, and you could not but be thankful to 
see your dear infant breath her last, after such a scene of 
sufferings, which you had so long witnessed. Your loss, 
though great, is unspeakable gain to her, as she is re- 
leased from a state of suffering and pain, and introduced 
to one of light, peace and joy, in the region of never end- 
ing bliss. This is a source of much comfort to you, and 
to us, under the bereaving stroke which God has seen fit 
to exercise us with. You have been hereby taught the 
uncertainty of all earthly comforts, as well as the evil of 
sin, which has been, (and is) the cause of all the calami- 
ties, that are brought upon the children of men; and will, 
we hope and pray, be directed to seek for happiness in 
communion with God and your Savior, and in giving up 
yourselves to his service, seeking his grace to be imparted 



142 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

to you, that you may make a wise improvement of his 
holy and wise dispensation of providence, in taking away 
one source of your earthly happiness. You will also be 
grateful to him for sparing to you a sweet and charming 
child, and for giving it health while your time was entirely 
taken up with her distressed sister. You will, dear chil- 
dren, hereby see, that your dear J. must not be idolized, 
but that it is your duty to enjoy her as the gift of God, or 
rather as lent to you by him, and as liable to be taken 
a.way at any time when he sees it fit and best, and for 
your own good. We pray that her precious life may be 
spared, and that she may be made a rich and lasting 
blessing to her parents, and other dear friends. 

You have noticed Dr. Johnson's consolatory letter to 
his friends, under the loss of a child, and I shall copy 
some parts of the venerable Mr. Newton's letter to his 
friends on a similar occasion. " I hope you are both re- 
conciled to the death of your child. Indeed, I cannot be 
sorry for the death of infants. How many storms do they 
escape ! Nor can I doubt, in my private judgment, that 
they are included in the election of grace. Perhaps 
those who die in infancy, are the exceeding great multi- 
tude of all people, nations and languages mentioned Rev. 
vii, 9. in distinction from the visible body of professing 
believers, who were marked in their foreheads, and openly 
known to be the Lord's."* 

*^ If either of your children should be removed, I shall 
not so distinctly ascribe it to its illness, as to the will of 
God ; for if, upon the whole, it be the most for his glory^ 
* Newton's Worksj vol. I, page 182. 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 143 

and best for you, they likewise shall recover. Should he 
appoint otherwise, it must be best, because he does it ; and 
a glance of the light of his countenance, the influence of 
that grace which he has promised shall be afforded accord- 
ing to our day, will enable you to resign them. I do not 
say it will cost you no pain, but, in defiance of the feelings 
of flesh and blood, you will, I trust, hold nothing so dear 
that you have received from him as to be unwilling to re- 
turn it into his hands when he is pleased to call for it. He 
will help you to remember that you owe him all ; that your 
children are not properly your own. He lent them, and 
every creature comfort you enjoy, and has a right to re- 
sume them. We do not like to have any thing forced 
from us which is our own ; but it would be dishonest in 
us to want to keep what we have only borrowed^ if the 
right owner demands it. Further, the Lord is not only 
sovereign, but infinitely wise and good : and therefore it is 
our interest, as well as our duty, to acquiesce in his ap- 
pointments. Should you be called to the trial, I wish 

you the same supports and the submission as Mr. had 

when he parted with his little one lately ; and as you have 
the same God, and the same promises, I hope you will." 

Your parents and other friends here are in usual health, 
through the goodness of God. We have been carried 
through another year, while about forty have died in this 
town, and but five or six of them so old as we are. We 
unite in love to Susan, and the dear child, and to your 
brothers and sisters, and our dear grand children. Re- 
spects to your father A. and the family, from your aflec- 
tionate parents, B. and S. Tappan. 



144 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

ToL. T. 

NoRTHAiMPTONj April 14j 1818. 

My Dear Son — Your parents, my dear children^ 
desire to sympathize with you under the bereavement 
you have suffered in the death of your brother. S. 
must sensibly feel the loss of a brother who has ever 
treated her with kindness and attention, from her child- 
hood to this time, in addition to the loss in being bereaved 
of a tender and beloved mother and a first born child ; 
but we hope and pray that she may be supported and 
comforted by the consolations of religion, ever realizing 
that God has a right to do what he v^^ill with his own, and 
that he does not willingly grieve nor afflict the children 
of men. 

You have also been threatened with the loss of your 
only child, your beloved J. ; but God has graciously heard 
the prayers that have been offered for her, and has spared 
her, so that you may sing of mercy as well as of judgment. 
You will, I trust, dedicate her to the service of Him 
from whom you have, as it were, again received her, and 
receive the gift as loaned to you for a time, to be called 
for at his sovereign will and pleasure. You must not set 
your affections on any thing on the earth, (not even on a 
beloved and only child) so as to make it an idol, and put 
it in the place of the Supreme Being, who is worthy of, 
and demands the homage, love and adoration of all his 
intelligent creatures. 

We are not forbidden to love our children, and we are 
monsters if we do not love them, but we must not substi- 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 145 

tute them in the place of God, and let our love and best 
affections be drawn off from the Creator to the creature. 
We must love Him with all our heart, soul, mind, and 
stiength, and his creatures in a subordinate degree, and 
as they bear his image and likeness, ***=** 

We are in usual health, through divine goodness and 
mercy, but your sister S. has not been very well of late. 
She is better to-day. Deacon S. lives longer than I had 
reason to expect by I.'s last letter. You will present the 
love of your parents to your dear wife, and give the little 
J. a sweet kiss for us. Our love also to your brothers, 
and sisters, and our grand children. 

Your affectionate father, 

Benj. Tappan. 



From Mrs. S. T. to C. T. 

(Omitted in its proper place.) 

Dear C. — I must repeat to you what I observed when 
you were here, that if you had such a view of the hu- 
man heart as I had, you would feel your need of an 
Almighty Savior. My own feelings were indescribable ; 
but if it should please God to bring you to the knowledge 
of the truth, as it is clearly revealed in his word, the con- 
cern you may feel for your dear children may explain 
them to you. * * * 

What need we care how little we are in the opinions 
of our fellow worms, if we may but shine as stars in the 
kingdom of heaven. This is all that is worth our pur- 
suit ; and shall we miss it by our own folly, when the 
13 



146 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

promises are so full and so free ? Alas, it is an evil heart 
of unbelief that destroys us. *^ Ye will not come to me, 
that ye might have lifeJ^ John v, 40. " Him that 
cometh to me I will in no wise cast out.'' John vi, 37. 
O, neglect not this great salvation 3* seek and you shall 
find. 

Dear C. — You have indeed experienced a wonderful 
interposition of Divine Providence in saving you from 
sudden death ; and I rejoice in the effect it has upon your 
mind. O, that it may be a prelude to your more clear 
conviction, and your acceptance of that mercy which is 
offered by the atonement by him who knew no sin, but 
was made sin for us, that we might be clothed upon with 
his perfect righteousness. This is indeed a foundation on 
which we may safely rest all our hopes for eternity. There 
is indeed no other name given under heaven whereby we 
can be sailed. *' For hy grace are ye saved through faith ; 
and that not of yourselves : It is the gift of God : Not of 
works, lest any man should hoast.^^ Eph. ii, 8, 9. For 
we are his workmanship created in Christ Jesus unto 
good works, not of merit, but the love of Christ constrain- 
ing us to new obedience. To them that believe he is 
precious. That this may be the experience of my 
dear children, and theirs, is the highest wish I can form; 
and while praying breath remains, it will, I trust, be my 
earnest prayer, well knowing that the best words I can 
speak, are ineffectual until explained and applied by the 
Spirit of God, who alone can open the heart, and give 
clear views of its depravity, and also the infinite righteous- 
ness and grace of Christ Jesus. 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 147 

If I understood you rightly, there is one text at which 
you stumble more than at any other — " But of that day 
and that hour, Icnoweth no man, no, not the angels which 
are in heaven, neither the Son, but the Father,'^ Mark 
xiii, 32. Is it, then, a dark saying, and hard to be under- 
stood, that God dwelt bodily in Christ, and yet did not 
reveal to his human mind that which was in His own 
secret counsel, and which had no connection with the 
great work of redemption, for which alone he took our 
nature? For that he was every way fitted, and perfectly 
accomplished, although we have at Gethsemane full evi- 
dence that his human nature was not equal to the work. 
Why else did he pray, in an agony, that if it were possi- 
ble the cup might pass from him ? 

It appears to me that all the difficulty lies, in not pro- 
perly distinguishing between his divine and human nature. 
That he was God and man, is clearly held forth in Scrip- 
ture. In the Old Testament he is called " Jehovah," 
Gen. xviii, 14, 17, 20. '' Eternal," Psalm ex, 4. '' Om- 
nipotent," Isa. ix, 6. And *' Creator," Heb. i, 2, 10. 
*^ Eternal Governor," v, 8. *^ He wrought miracles in his 
own name," Luke v, 13. " He knew the heart," Luke 
vi, 8. " He forgave sins, and was equal with God," 
Phil, ii, 6. ^* All men are commanded to honor the Son 
as they honor the Father," John v, 23. The apostle says, 
*^ Great is the mystery of Godliness; God was manifest 
in thefiesh,'^ 1 Tim. iii, 16. In another place it is said, 
angels desire to look into it. And shall frail man reject 
it because his reason cannot comprehend it, and seek to 
be wise above what is written ? Is it not enough that 



148 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

God hath said it ? The Bible is not man's device, but 
holy men of old wrote as the Spirit of God dictated ; and 
we are assured that all Scripture is given by inspiration, 
and is for our instruction. Let us then receive it in faith 
and love, praying earnestly for the divine influences of the 
Holy Spirit to enlighten our dark understandings, and 
bring us to the knowledge of the truth as it is in Christ 
Jesus, that we be neither barren nor unfruitful in the 
work of the Lord, for the time is short, and our day of 
probation may soon be over. 

If we believe we shall be saved. ** Ye believe in God, 
believe also in me," says our Savior, John xiv, 1. I and 
my Father are one. " He that hath seen me hath seen the 
Father.^^ ^^ If ye shall ash any thing in my name I will 
DO IT,'' John xiv, 14. 

As L. and yourself seem to think, or rather say, that 
my religion is the effect of early education, I think it my 
duty to assure you that that is not the case ; and to state 
to you such particulars as I can recollect to prove it. My 
parents, it is true, were orthodox in sentiment, and truly 
pious ; but if they endeavored to make me either, it was lost 
labor, at least until I was nearly twenty years old. So 
far that I was then without any saving knowledge of God, 
or the way of salvation by the redemption offered in his 
word. Not but that I had experienced the strivings of 
the Holy Spirit, and had repeatedly made, what I called 
good resolutions, which were soon forgotten. 

I was for the most part, as thoughtless, perhaps, as 
ever any creature could be, but God who is rich in mercy, 
still waited upon me to be gracious. When about twenty 



MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 149 

I visited Falmouth and the Vineyaird. At Falmouth I 
heard a plain sermon from these words, " For what shall 
it profit a man, if he gain the whole world, and lose his 
own soul 7^^ Mark viii, 36. I recollected I had often 
heard sermons from that text, but never felt the truth as it 
was then enforced. The impression was deep and lasting. 
The next day a young woman came to the house on a 
visit. We had never met before, but she also was under 
deep convictions. We knew of no other persons who 
felt as we did, and as out of the abundance of the heart 
the mouth speaketh, we soon became interested in each 
other, and retired where we could converse freely to- 
gether. From this time, without any one to assist me, 
the truths contained in the Bible opened more fully to my 
mind, and I read and heard, with the greatest astonish- 
ment at my past wilful ignorance. I was indeed as one 
new born, and God's glorious character was visible in all 
his works, to that degree that I thought it was wonderful 
that the stones did not upbraid man with his ingratitude, 
for all things else that had breath, or life, seemed to utter 
forth his praise. 

The March after I was twenty-one, I publicly took the 
seal of the covenant, and gave up myself to God, to be 
his, relying wholly on the merits of the glorious Jesus for 
acceptance with God, and strength to perform my engage- 
ments. By the influences of the Holy Spirit, and through 
many temptations, and much weakness, I have been ena- 
bled to persevere, and to receive light more abundantly. 
I am now waiting in hope for my great change, when I 
shall be freed from sin, and when prayer shall cease to be 
14 



150 MEMOIR OF MRS. TAPPAN. 

a delightful privilege, when all, all shall be turned to 
praise. Dear children, who choose to be wise above what 
is Written, shall be resigned to God, and he will be glori- 
fied in those who are lost, even as by those who are saved. 
But here my heart must have continual sorrow for those 
who will not believe. 

My experience, for more than fifty years, has confirmed 
me more in the truth of the doctrines of grace than all I 
have heard or read besides ; and I must believe that 

THOSE WHO DENY THEM WILL MISS OF HeAVEN ,AT LAST. 

Their own righteousness, however perfect, will fail. I 
cannot describe to you how I have felt, after hearing a 
minister of the Gospel set forth the love and tenderness 
of the Savior towards the afflicted, while he dwelt on 
earth, in the most pathetic manner, and then close the 
book without one allusion to that wonderful love and pity 
which brought him from the bosom of his Father to suffer 
such an amazing weight of agony, and insult even unto 
death, for lost, and, but for that, undone man. This pur- 
chased inheritance, his imputed righteousness, is all my 
hope, all my dependence. I have no claim to any other. 
I am a poor sinner, unworthy of the least mercy, but 
Christ came to receive and save such, and therefore I hope 
to receive mercy as a free gift. With such views how 
can I but esteem him as the chief among ten thousand, 
and altogether lovely, and most ardently desire that my 
children may believe as I do, But I can only weep where 
most I love. S. T. 



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